Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

In ze center uf Duskvoot is zis strange Night Elf portal. I tried to go zrough it, but nuzzink happened. Zere vus also vun uf zose Night Elf jacuzzis around zere as vell, but nuzzink else. No animals, no Night Elves. I vunder vut ze story is?  Posted by Hello

I mentioned zat Duskvood is creepy. I forgot to mention zat it is also full uf ze verevolves! It's an epidemic! I vunder vut heppened to make so many. Fortunately, efen zree at a time, zey fall to my fearsome might. Vell, most uf ze time. Zis time zey did. Posted by Hello

Gnonest sent me a new headband today. He says ve should vear it now instead uf ze hood. I kind uf like ze hood, but zis is tough as vell, unt it shows my hair more. Posted by Hello

I vent to Duskvood today

Gnonest slept in today, zo I vent runnink around vizout him. First I zought uf goink to Booty Bay, but zat vus a long run, and it vus most scary -- I efen saw a Gorilla! (I killed it)

However, I did get some very nice recipes in a camp in Stranglezorn Vale. I luff gettink new recipes! Alvays new tastes, efen ze strange stuff humans eat (vut's up viz pumpkins, anyvay?). Instead, I vent into ze Duskvood. Vut a creepy place! Dark unt foggy, unt ze trees vere efferyvhere. Vun nice zink vus I found lots of Iron unt Tin! Very goot for minink -- you vouldn't zink ze forest vould be zat goot, but zere you go.

Zis poor human vanted me to make him a telescope. He had plans from a Gnome, but couldn't figure zem out (uf course). Zo, I vent unt got ze stuff for him, unt helped him assemble it. I efen saw a GOLD mine, but I heffn't figured out how to separate ze gold ore, zo I left it. Zat vus a hard zink to do.

Sometimes, ze trainers giff you strange zinks to do. I vent to talk viz ze Varrior trainer in Stormvind, unt he vanted me to go to some island off ze coast of ze Barrens to meet viz people unt fight zem. Not zat I heff a problem viz zat, but really, I vunder vut I am to learn uf zis. I still heff to go to ze Razorfen Kraul as vell to get ze oil of phlogiston for my armor. Soon, I zink.

Zis is my new sword. Actually, it's an ancient sword, but it is new for me, zo I call it my new sword. Posted by Hello

I zink I heff an addiction

It has begun to bozer me zat I can't seem to hold onto a goot sword for very long. I zink I em addicted to gettink new swords, especially ze two handed vuns. Maybe I just like to svink zem unt fly zrough ze air, but I heff now gotten a zird vun in a very short vhile. Zis vun I got from ze commander at Menezil harbor. It seems zis Orc vus goink to attack ze harbor viz ze catapults. Gnonest unt I vent out to take him unt his catapults out.

He (Nek'krosh or sumtink like zat) vus tough, but Gnonest unt I vere tougher. However, I forgot to get ze photo durink ze battle, but trust me, he fell. Unt hard. Ze commander gave me zis ancient sword to zank us for zavink ze fort. Zo, I am usink it razer zan my hammer. I still love my hammer, but I like ze sword effen more.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I also vent to Stormvind, unt zis is ze temple in ze city. Very nice -- ze Humans like ze big buildinks, but zis vun had zome class. I liked ze tiles on ze floor ze most. Posted by Hello

Zis is ven I vus playink vis my telephoto lens. Zese Gnolls vere actually far avay, but it zeemed like zey vere about to die. Oh, vell, zey did, but only efter I ran quite a vays. Posted by Hello

I forgot to mention zat ven Gnonest unt I vere killink ze dinos, I found zis mace inzide vun uf zem. Efter I cleaned it off a bit it vus really shiny! I zink it is ze diamond or zumzink. Posted by Hello

Zis is ze Greenvarden. People say he is ze boss of ze Vetlands, but it just seemed like he vus bossink Gnonest unt me around. Go get zis, go kill some Gnolls, go get zat. Such a bossy Greenvarden. Vut's a Greenvarden, anyvay? Posted by Hello

Zese vere zree dinos who vere about to die at my hand. Or razer at ze end uf my zweihander. Takink on zree dinos is just anozer casual day for ze fearsome Gnomes like me. (unt Gnonest) Posted by Hello

Zis unt zat

Hokay, so I steal Gnonest's line already.

Zo, I decided to go out alone, just to kill a few dinos to get zeir eggs. Gnonest vas feelink a little under ze veazer. Zinks vere goink goot, I vus effen takink zem on zree at a time! I vill post ze pictures. Oh, yah, zat reminds me -- I made a new camera! Zis vun effen has ze telephoto lens! I can now take ze long range photos. I heff vun of zose as vell.

Vere vus I? Oh, yah. I vus killink ze dinos, unt efter a vhile, Gnonest showed up. He vus feelink better. Zo, it vus ze two uf us again, really killink ze dinos. Zey vere fallink left unt right!

Such fun.

Monday, March 21, 2005

More huntink in ze Vetlands

Vell, Gnonest unt I vent back to ze Vetlands last night. I just couldn't face any more Orcs in Redridge. Unfortunately, I dropped my camera on ze griffon ride ofer, so I don't heff any photographs of ze fun ve had.

Unt fun ve had! It vus so exciting -- I zought ve vould just be huntink dinos unt crocolisks, but instead ve vent efter Pirates! Undead, ghostly Pirates! Oh, you should heff been zere! Ghostly marines unt sailors efferyvhere. Unt undead captains as vell. Effen neater, zey changed us into undead lookink! I don't know how many times I almost attacked Gnonest zinkink he vus an undead sailor comink after me. It took a vhile, because zey vere most fearsome, unt ve vere chased back many times. Fortunately, ve finally managed to get zis ball zat vus causink zem to be ghosts unt all -- an Evil ball -- ze Cursed Eye of Paleth. Now, ve need to clean ze eye. I suggested a system uf brushes unt vater jets zat I heff constructed, but ze guy said ve had to take it to Stormvind instead. Vell, I can still use my device to clean my armor unt stuff.

I need to get a new camera, zo.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

After ve got tired of ze stockade, ve left Stormvind unt vent back to ze Redridge mountains. Zere vere Orcs zere! I heff never seen ze Orcs before. Fortunately, zey fell to our combined might.  Posted by Hello

Gnonest unt I spent a bit of time in ze Stockade tonight. It vusn't much fun, ze prisoners vere efferyvhere! Zose poor little gnome skeletons showed us life vus cruel. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

"Vhut's viz ze accent?"

Some people heff written to me, askink vhy zis blog is written like zis. I don't know vut zey mean, but I guess zey vunder how I can write zis blog vizout a keyboard or Internets connection. Zey don't know Gnomes!

I heff built myself a Trans-vocal Transmogritranscriber. Zis device takes my normal speakink voice, unt sends it zrough ze ezer to zis blog. Simple, no? I vill include a photo sometime.

Zis is me killink ze Sartooz dino. He vusn't zat hard to kill viz boz of us at him. Gnonest effen had time to take zis photo. I don't know vut ze numbers vere floatink zere. Or zat funny red circle shadow zink. I zink it vut Gnonest's fault. You know he doesn't like ze technology, unt I zink he couldn't figure out ze flanges unt bogusotic adjustors on ze camera. I vill heff to teach him. Posted by Hello

Zis is a better picture of me viz ze hood zat Gnonest made for me. Ve vere zem ven ve are runnink in towns, but ven it comes time for zum serious choppink, I put on my goggles (see zem in an earlier picture). Posted by Hello

Vut is it viz Dwarves unt tunnels? Zis vun vent zrough ze mountains, but zere really vusn't a need. I zink zey just vanted vun for ze sake uf buildink vun. Posted by Hello

More times in Vetlands

My vord, but zese blog zinks are difficult. No vun tolt me zat zey vere so much vork! You must remember to log on every vunce unt a vhile unt enter somezink.

Vell, enough complainink. Last veek Gnonest unt I decided to spend some more time in ze Vetlands. It is a pleasant enough place, but viz no real minerals to speak uf. Ve spent most uf our time killink ze dinos of many different colours, includink ze fearsome Sartooz. I got pictures to proof it, as vell.

Efter ve killed all ze dinos ve could stand, ve vere asked to make a special trip to talk viz ze Dwarves. Zis, ve couldn't ignore -- ze chance to go back to ze beauty of Dun Morogh, unt ze snow vere too much. Effen better, on ze vay, I started to collect ze scorched spider fangs I need to make ze fire-hardened hauberk. Ze trip vus uneventful ozervize, except, vut is it viz Dwarves unt tunnels? My vord, but zey put ze tunnels efferyvhere! For no goot reason, effen!

Gnonest unt I are meetink again tomorrow, I zink, so I vill heff more zen.

Friday, March 04, 2005

I got zis picture of Anor. He's a friend of Gnonest unt I. He's a Night Elf (notice ze long ears).  Posted by Hello

Night Elves unt bunnies

Vhile ve vere in ze Night Elf city, Gnonest unt I noticed zat zere vere a lot of young little elves runnink around. It seems zat if ze Night Elves live forever zat zey shouldn't need a lot of children, no? Ve sought it vus strange, but I developed a zeory.
My zeory is zat Night Elves are related to bunnies. Bunnies breed very fast, unt zere are alvays a lot uf young around. Unt bunnies heff long ears, just like ze Night Elves. I mean, look at ze picture of Anor I post next. He's got ears like two bunnies!
Gnonest says zat he heard zat ze Night Elves vere related to Trolls. Zat makes sense too, as Trolls heff long ears as vell. Unt zey heff long teez too, just like ze bunnies!

It all makes sense!


Zis is Gnonest unt I in Menethil Harbor. Ve're vearink our new hoods zat Gnonest made (he's not a real Gnome: he likes to play viz fabrics unt stuff). Still, I like ze hood, unt it makes ze too uf us look tough, no? Like ve are a gang or zumzink. I'm effen giffink ze high sign. Sorry it is so dark. It vus gettink late. Posted by Hello

Zis vus ze ghost ve saw. A human ghost, I zink, but I can't tell really. Zey look alike, you know? He tried to zreaten us, or ze prospector, zen disappeared. Posted by Hello

Killink ze dinos vus fun for a vhile, but zey vere all over ze place. Unt zey smelled a little funny. Not gorgonzola funny, but kind of cold soup funny. Posted by Hello

I vus surrounded by zese zree Murlocs. I don't know vere Gnonest vus, but I killed zem all anyvay. Posted by Hello

Ve saw zis zink in ze Night Elf city. You can't tell how big it is from here, but it vus big! Gnonest told me not to get too close because it's eyesight vus probably too bad to see us. Posted by Hello

Into ze vetlands!

Hokay, how should zese zinks start?

Dear diary? No, zis isn't a diary, it's a blog. Dear Blog? No, zat sounds like I am writink viz a plug up my nose. Vunce upon a time? No, zat doesn't vork. It vus a dark unt stormy night? Yah, zat vorks. Except it vusn't night. So it vusn't dark. Unt it vusn't stormy. But you get ze picture, right?

Gnonest unt I vere gettink a little bored viz Redridge Mountains, so ve decided to travel to Auberdine, in ze Elf lands. It vus interestink. More stone zere zan I zought zere vould be, but it vus all still pretty green. I even saw zis zink zere. Big ting, but it didn't zreaten us at all. Good zink.

Elf Lands vere nice, but ze green vus getting to us. Ve helped zis prospector (as I vus hopink he had access to some minerals), but he vus just lookink for some fossils. So, ve vent to ze Vetlands, as ze prospector mentioned anozer prospector. Before I knew it, ve vere surrounded by Murlocs! Vell, I vus surrounded. Gnonest vus sleepink, or drinkink, or somezink. Fortunately, I fought off the zree of zem. Unt more later, viz Gnonest's help. I really don't like ze Murlocs. Noisy gurgly beasts, but at least zey heff ze decency to die viz noise. Unt die zey did, I assure you.

After ze Murlocs, ve set forz vurzer inland. Ze prospector said zere vus a mine, or excavation or zumzink unt I vanted to find it. Zere vere dinosaurs everyvere! Not ze nice dinos eizer, but nasty, sharp clawed toothy vuns. Ve killed a bunch, unt found some nice artifacts. Unt TIN! More tin. I luff tin, almost as much as I luff copper. Unt silver. Unt iron. But I em gettink distracted. I vus tellink a story. Ve killed a bunch of zose dinosaurs unt found a tablet zat ze prospector had been lookink for. Not as nice as silver, but it vus OK. Not even as nice as tin. Ah, tin. I luff tin. Oh, I'm vanderink again. Hokay, so ve got zis tablet, unt ve gave it to ze prospector. He read ze inscription on it, unt zis ghost appeared! Ze ghost said somezink about, "Beware tryink to learn about ze past, or it vill endanger your future." Or zumzink like zat. Zen he disappeared.

So, it vus a fun time. I killed a lot of Murlocs unt dinosaurs, unt ve saw a ghost. Unt I collected a bunch of dinosaur eggs. I vunder vhat I can cook viz zem? I must look up a recipe. Oh, unt I got more tin. I luff tin...