Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Friday, May 05, 2006


Vell, efter all ze runnink arount in ze desert unt elsevhere, I zink it has paid off. My instructors at ze varrior academy heff told me zat I heff learned all zat I can from zem. I em ze Master Varrior! I em so hexcited! Oh, yah. Gnonest is ze Master Mage as vell. He says he vants to go to ze Dire Maul now, but I zink he vuz chokink. Ve are restink up in zis abandoned house in ze IronForge until ve zink uf vhut to do next.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

A big sand box

I heff not posted lately, as Gnonest unt I heff been playing in Slizius. It is ze neat place. Not as snowy as ve vould like, but it has it's charms. Zere are lots uf zinks to kill zere: bugs, vurms, and ... vell, more bugs. I can see vhy Anor didnt' like it zo -- not a tree in sight, unt nozink really to skin. Oh, yah, zere are cultists as vell. Nasty people zey are. Ve heff been vhackink zem by ze cartload, but zey keep comink more. I shall try to take more pictures in ze future, but for now I heff only ze two.

Vhile runnink zrough ze sand, ve saw zis skeleton. I zink it is uf ze dragon! It is qvite dead, zo. Probably anozer reason Anor didnt' like zis place. He prefers to kill ze dragons, unt heffink an obfiously dead vun stuck here probably bugged him. You see -- lots uf bugs here!

Near zat skeleton, zis guy vuz valkink arount. Ve decided not to bozer him. I make it a point to not irritate people zat tall. Zey tend to hit really hard.

Ve teamed up viz a couple uf nice paladins last night for ze first time. Zey vere nice, for humans. I forgot to take ze photo, but zey vere vearink matchink armour - zey looked like ze guards in Stormvint, all shiny. I prefer my armour, zo. Alzough I do keep breakink my monocle. I need to find somezink more protectife for my head.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

A vew older pictures

Here are a vew older pictures zat I heff been holdink on to for ze vhile. Zey are from our fun in ze Velvoot unt Vintersprink bevore ve vent ofer to ze Slizius. Ze Velvoot is an icky place, unt eferyzink smells a little. Efen me vhen I vuz zere.

Zis vuz a big dead tree zat ve helped. He vuz lost, or somezink, unt needed somevun to show him how to get past ze muck monsters unt get to ze road.

Here he is efter ve got him to ze road. He turned out to be a nice dead tree. You can see just how big he vuz, as Gnonest (unt some dumb paladin type) is standink next to him. Gnonest is on his mount, Vheezlecrank.
Efter ze Velvoot, ve headed up past ze Fulbolgs to Vintersprink. I zink I really like ze Vintersprink - it reminds me uf my childhoot. All ze snow to play in. Here you can see just some uf ze carnage ve did zere. A bunch uf Furbolgs attacked us, so ve vhacked zem. You can see zat vun efen died in ze sheep form zat Gnonest had turned him into. Deaz can be cruel sometimes.

I snuck zis photo. Zis is Gnonest's new dress, uh, kilt. He is a little selv-conscious about it, but I don't know vhy. Maybe it is because uf his vearink ze cyan kilt viz ze red vest? You can see his bunny zere as vell. I can't remember ze bunny's name, but it is a fearsome beast, unt alvays helps ze Gnonest protect my beck.

Ze jokink helf

I forgot to mention zis joker vhen I vuz talkink about ze desert. He vuz some big muckymuck arount zere, unt he actually zreatened me unt Gnonest viz ze vhack on ze head! I voult heff tied his ears in ze knot if Gnonest hadn't uf stopped me.

Killink ze bugs

Gnonest had ze luffly idea last night: vhy don't ve go check out zis Slizius place? I heff to admit, I vuz gettink a little tired uf ze Plaguelants. I vuz feelink mouldy all ze time, unt I zought zat a little bit uf dryness might help me feel a bit more clean. Plus, it vuz ze chance to vhack bugs. Vhut could be more fun zan zat? (Yah, buildink a new automatic sword sharpener unt cow milker might be more fun, but stick viz me.)

It is devinitely not a luffly place. Sandy unt vindy, unt full uf ze bugs. Here you can see zat ve are heffink ze picnic. You can see ze dust defil in ze background. I tried to catch vun, but I could not.

I mentioned ze bugs, yah? I vuz playink viz my telephoto lens for a bit, unt aimed it at ze tower uf ze bugs. Buzzink arount it vere all zese bugs. I must make myself some repellent bevore ve head into ze hifes zemselfes. Or maybe just sharpen my axe to vhack zem viz. Zat vill shut zem up!

Vhile ve vere comink beck from vhackink a bunch uf ze cultists who are also in ze area (I vill show you photos uf zem later, but zey are pretty dull lookink), ve saw a really big bug attackink a bunch uf dvarfes, so ve decided to help. Look at ze size uf it! Uf course, it did not last long viz boz uf us helpink.

Zere vere also a lot uf large vorms in ze desert. Zey apparently heff been attackink ze supply lines, so Gnonest unt I decided to help viz ze cleanink out uf ze vorms. You know, zey are also qvite tasty! Zis nice lady gafe us ze recipe to make ze dumplinks out uf zem. Most delicious! I vill heff to vhack a vew more in ze future, just because. Gnonest said zat he heard zat zere might efen be more larger vorms arount. He said zat his friend Herbert tolt him, or somezink like zat. I vill look forvart to findink zem as vell.

Vhile ze desert vuzn't as luffly as Vintersprink, it vuz still much nicer zan ze Plaguelants, unt I zink ve vill go beck. Ve heff been collectink ze secret messages uf ze cultists, unt I em curious as to vhut zey are talkink about. Perhaps some new recipes! Or maybe ze gadgets! Ooooo, zat vould be so nice!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I heff figured it out!

Gnonest unt I vere in ze Vintersprink lately (I zink I heff mentioned zat), but ze place bozered me vhile ve vere zere. I zink I finally figured zomezink out about ze place, zo. Ze sprink is like ze vater sprink -- it's named after ze hot sprinks in ze place. Zere is no metal sprinks involved! Ze whole time ve vere zere, I vuz lookink for ze metal sprinks for my gadgets, unt I nefer saw vun. I had efen zought zat ze Goblins vere hidink zem. Now zat I know zat zere are no metal sprinks in ze place, I feel better.

Alzough, vouldn't zat be cool? Ze whole place full uf snow unt metal sprinks! Sprinks vould help you get zrough deep snow -- you could bounce zrough it!

My whole mistake reminds me uf ze time I vuz helping my uncle Gnorman viz his race car vun day. I mentioned Gnorman in ze past, right? He's Gniddle's fazer. Just don't mention ze bunnies to Gniddle!

Anyvay, I vuz vorkink viz my uncle, unt he vuz tightenink ze brakes on his race car. He asked me for ze 12-sprocket left-handed gear drifer, unt I zought he had asked for ze 10-sprocket right-handed gear drifer. He zought it vuz a tight fit, but he tightened his brakes anyvay. He crashed later zat night into ze crowd. It vuz quite ze hexplosion, I must say! He vuz hokay, zough, but zose brakes didn't seem to vork at all. He must heff loosened zem somehow. Ve laughed about zis vhen he got back from ze temple after ze priests healed him.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Hemptyink out ze camera

Vell, it has been a long time zince I wrote anyzink here, so I decided zat it vould be a goot time to hempty out my camera, unt post ze photos here so zat you know vhut Gnonest unt I heff been up to.

Ve vere quite busy viz ze Lunar Vestifal lately - collectink ze coins from ze elders, unt shootink off ze firevorks. Ze firevorks vere ze best part, efen better zan runnink into ze Crossroads to get ze coin from ze elder zere. I got ze plans for ze launcher, so zat I vould be able to make ze firevorks vhenefer I like, but it needs ze Goblin rocket fuel to make. Now I need to find ze Goblin villink to sell me some.

Ze elders vere funny people. Hidink out in ze strangest uf places. Like ze vun in ze Un'goro crater, just lookink at ze bugs! You'd zink he vould help a little...

Vunce ze vestifal vuz ofer, ve decided to leafe ze crater, unt head up to ze Vintersprink. Oh, but it is goot to see ze snow again! Ze Vintersprink is a nice place. It has snow (I zink I heff mentioned zat). It does remind us uf ze old days in ze Dun Morogh, zo. Dumb bears attackink all ze time, nozink better to do. Oh, unt it has ze Chimeras. Lots uf ze Chimeras! Zey are efen dumber zan ze bears.

Gnonest unt I heff been collectink ze new armor as vell. Here are Gnonest's new pants. Aren't zey just too vierd to beliefe? Ze mages vear ze strangest zinks.

Unt here is my new armor. Unfortunately, I had my eyes closed vhen I took zis picture. I vill try to take ze better vun soon. Ze skull on ze breastplate is most fearsome, yah?

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Huntink in ze crater

Gnonest unt I heff been spendink a lot uf time in ze Un'goro crater lately - it is a fun place!
Zere are so meny zinks to knock on ze head zere - dinos unt flowers unt dumb monkies unt more.
I feel a little sorry about hittink ze flowers, zo. Zey seem so peaceful, runnink around unt vafink zere tentacles around. Still, I don't zink zat ze flowers are supposed to valk arount. So, zey get vhacked.

Ze dinos in particular can be fery irritatink. Ve vere just mindink our business, ridink souz to find somezink vhen a couple uf zem decided to attack. Zen, zey brought zeir friends. Unt more friends. By ze end uf it, ve vere surrounded by ze dead dinos - too bad Anor vuzn't zere to clean up after us.

Ve heff also been collectink ze raptor meat for ze var evvort. I don't know how I heff been feelink about zat evvort. I know I vill heff to fight in ze var, unt heffink ze meat unt stuff afailable is important, I just zink zey might be doink it in ze wrong vay - heffink all ze stuff in Ironforge means zat ze supply chain is all comink from ze vun place. Still, ze collection goes fine, unt I zink I vill enjoy vhackink ze bugs. Hopefully zey vill heff ze neat stuff to collect.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Ze dwarfen airplanes!

Gnonest unt I vere in ze Azshara ze ozer day, spankink ze bloot elfes for some reason or anozer. Ve also had to collect ze "etchinks" uf ze ruins for zis dwarf in Ironforge. He vanted us to collect zem, zen go to an airport for collection. Zis is ze shot at ze airport. I vanted ze guy to giff us a ride in ze plane, but he said zere vuz no room. No room for ze little (but fearsome) gnome?!?! I zink ve vere ze victims uf ze plot to keep me from buildink my own flyink machines.