Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Monday, October 31, 2005

A little accident

Gnonest unt I vere trfelling through ze Uldaman, beatink up ze dark iron dwarfes unt troggs zat are in zere. Mostly it vent hokay, but at vun part ve vere swarmed! Zere must heff been dozens uf zem, all ferociously attackink us at vunce. I tried my best, but zey got me.

Zey hit me so hard, zey drofe me into ze ground! Only my feet did stick out uf ze ground. Boy, did zat hurt. (Gnonest took ze photo, as my camera vuz buried under ze rock uf Uldaman at ze time)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Hallow's End shenanigans, part vun

As eferyvun knows, it is ze Hallow's End, or close. So, ze costumes heff been showing up lately, unt ze Trick or Treatink has started. Here, I em transformed into ze leper gnome, vhile Gnonest vears ze scary human ghost mask. I missed takink ze photo vhile I vuz lookink like ze terrifyink tiny Diablo, but I vill try again later.

My fine new duds!

Gnonest has made for me ze smashink new suit! It is fery luffly, I zink. It is ze tuxedo, unt I zink it goes fery vell viz my new rose-colored goggles. I look like ze major media celebrity, I zink! Zis vill be just ze zink for zose late night party sessions unt raves in Stormvind. I might need better shoes, zo, zey sort uf clash viz my plate boots.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Ze tailor who came in from ze cold

Sometimes I tzink I may bore people viz my incessant talk of clozes. Gnolly neffer says anytzing, but sometimes I can see his attention drift vhen I describe my latest creation. "Gnolly!" I say, "I heff made ze most delightful new outfit. You vill luff it!" "Oh, yes, fery nice," says he, und stifles a yawn. But zere is no stopping me--I em a tailor und so I talk about ze clozes. It comes viz ze territory.

Anyvay, zough I em keeping ze sleepvear for ze fighting (it really is much tougher zen it looks, und helps my spellcasting besides), I heff made ze most delightful new outfit for ze bar scene. Here I em showing it off in Booty Bay:

Say good-bye to ze Mage uf ze Red Pyjamas und say hello to ze International Gnome uf Mystery! Ze mage who luffed me! I em sure it vill be a hit viz ze ladies. Und because he seems to need help in zat department, I heff made a matching set for Gnolly. Maybe he vill post some pictures uf it soon!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Spiffy new shirt!

Hallo again! Since I last wrote, I heff grown tired uf dressing all in red. It hides ze blood vell, but to be frank it is not a flattering colour, und it makes ze whole outfit look a bit like sleepvear. I don't vant to be known as Gnonest Needlezread, ze Mage uf ze Red Pyjamas. Und so I heff made zis new tuxedo shirt to spiff up my outfit a bit:

I tzink it very dashing, zo I am afraid I look a bit like a vaiter vizout ze jacket. I hope no one asks me for drinks ze next time I visit ze Irregular.

In ozzer news, since I got my feazerbeck Gnolly und I heff been riding everyvhere, even on short trips from Tinkertown to ze Mystic Quarter. I still don't steer very vell--on my last trip zrough ze Vetlands, I nearly ran over some dvarves und came vizin a hair uf sqvashing some young elven hooligans in ze tunnels. I am unmoved in my opinion zat it is a most infernal machine, but Gnolly, who likes machines almost as vell as people, insisted zat I giff it a name. So I heff decided to call it Vheezeclank, after ze horrible noises it makes.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Alone in ze desert

Gnonest vuz nappink today, so I vent out to find some ghosts zat a goblin vuz lookink for. Gnonest didn't need to get zem anyvay. He doesn't like it vhen I go out alone. Ze last time I vent out alone, I bought ze sword from ze goblin. It vuz a luffly sword, made uf tin. Unfortunately, ze tin is not ze best for makink ze swords. It bent on ze first troll I vhacked viz it. Gnonest says zat I should not buy anyzink now unless he is arount to help me get ze good deals. Still, it vuz just ze desert of Desolace today. How much troubles could I get into?

I fount ze place zat ze goblin vanted me to look in. It vuz called ze "Valley uf Bones" (ooooo, scary stuff, kiddies). I saw vhy efter I looked zere for a little vhile - it vuz full uf bones, boz ze valkink sort, unt ze lyink down sort. I mean, look at ze bones!

I vunder vhut zose zinks vere? Zey are big, like ze giants, but zey heff ze pointy teeth like ze dragon. Unt ze spear like some uf ze naga. I'm sure zey voult heff been quite fearsome when zey veren't all bones like zey are now.

Here I em in vun uf ze mouzs uf ze big bones. Zey aren't so scary now.

I forgot to take ze picture uf ze pile uf dead ghosts zat I collected for ze goblin, but you can imagine ze pile, can't you? It vuz quite high, I assure you. I'm not sure how I killed ze ghosts, as I zought zat ghosts vere already dead. Still, vhen you vhack zinks hard enough, zey fall down, unt zese ghosts fell down vhen I vhacked zem.

Efter I killed ze ghosts, I vent lookink for ze goblin again. Boy, he vuz hard to find! I vent all ofer ze place looking for him. I vuz afraid I might heff to fill up my strider's tank again. I had switched it to ze diesel, for ze economy, you know. I vusn't sure if I vould be able to find any in ze Desolace. Fortunately, I found ze goblin in ze souz end uf ze kodo grafeyard. He vuz fery happy to see me, unt gafe me a nice shield for brinkink him ze dead ghosts.

So, I got back to ze Booty Bay, viz nozink for Gnonest to chastize me for, except maybe for goink out vizout him. Zis time. Next time ve vill go back to ze mine at Uldamon, I zink.

My new armour

I heff been collectink new armour lately, as befits ze most fearsome gnome zat I em. It is now ze full plate armor, for ze most part. So, it is quite protectife. Viz all uf zis on, I fear nozink. Except maybe ze dragons.

My favourite piece, zo, is ze helmet. I heff gotten vun uf zose elven helmets zat ze sentinals vear. I like it, but many are mistakink me for ze elf now. Efen zo I do not heff ze ears.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Killink ze big guys

My vord, but it has been a long time since I wrote here. Vell, I heff been a little busy. Gnonest got himself a mechanostrider, so ve heff been galavantink around on zem. He's still a little shaky on ze controls, unt he doesn't really like it, but I zink he is gettink used to it.

Ve fount zis place uf bugs near Feazermoon. Zey vere kind uf nasty, attackink us unt all. Uf course, vhut else vould you expect from ze bugs? I still heff a rash from ze bugs in Stranglezorn Vale. Unt don't efen bring up ze Vetlands!

Here ve vere comink up from ze bottom uf ze bug place. Zere vere really big mosquitoes zere!

Gnonest unt I decided to leafe ze Feazermoon area, at least for ze vhile. Ve vent beck to Arazi to finish off a few zinks zhere. Zere are lots uf big zinks in Arazi! Like zese giants ve killed zere. Bigger zey are, ze harder zey fall at ze hands uf Gnomes, zat's vhut my huncle Vilhelm used to say!

Zose giants vere just ze start. In Arazi, zere is a city zat ze humans used to life in. Vell, zere are still some humans in zere, but most uf zem are zeives unt cutthroats. I can tell, because zey are all vearink ze black.

Last, ve heff ze picture uf ze pile uf ogres ve left behind vhen ve left ze city.