Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

News from Anor

I got ze strangest message from Anor today. I guess zat is a little redundant, as ze elves are all a little strange. It is also goot to hear from Anor, as I sought he vus dead. Ze last message I got from him vas sayink zat he vuz goink to hunt dragons! Razer zan readink it, I decided to include ze message here:

My dear cousin Gnolly,

I write you on this day with a request for aid, as I know that you know more of these strange devices than I. I was hunting in the wilds of Stranglethorn when I relieved a Troll (of the Skullsplitter tribe) of his worldly fears. Upon the body, I found a strange device. It appeared to be a bow, of perhaps shortbow in stature, but one permanently attached to a handle. I say permanently, but I am not certain. I did attempt to remove bow from handle, but I feared I would break it, and so resigned myself that the two are intended to be together. It does look like arrows could still be mounted upon the bow, perhaps even fired from it. However, I am confounded by the handle -- Gnolly, what is the purpose of it?

I await your sage advice,

Like I said, elves are a little strange. I can hardly vait until he finds ze blunderbuss!

Here is me, Gnonest unt Tinsel efter I got my new armor. Ze picture is a little dark, so I vill heff to try to take anozer soon. Posted by Hello

Zis is me beatink on a fire elemental in ze Charred Vale. Posted by Hello

I set up zis targetink dummy in front of ze Stormvind bank to greet people comink in. I zink all ze banks should do zis. It is much more friendly. Posted by Hello

Zis is me killink ze basilisk. I don't know if zis is in ze charred vale, or in Desolas. All basilisks look alike to me. You can see Tinsel behint me, vaitink for a treat. Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Latest excitement

Vell, I heff been so excited lately, I heff been forgettink to post here.

Ze excitement started early last veek vhen I got a bunch uf items in ze mail. Vun uf ze items vus a mysterious package from Shadecrank. I must heff mentioned him in ze past. He is a Gnome who is tryink to start a guild to recover Gnomeragan from ze beasts zat heff taken it ofer. Vhile Gnonest unt I are not from zat fair city, ve heff boz attempted to sign ze guild charter. Unfortunately, ve heff boz been unable to, but ve are vorkink on it. Ze package from Shadecrank vus a luffly mechanical squirrel! I vus so excited -- ze vorkmanship vus magnificent, unt besides, it vus quite cute.
Sadly, ze new squirrel (vhich I heff named Tinsel, because I luff Tin) unt Ludvig did not get along viz vun anozer. Ludvig vould nibble on Tinsel's ears, unt Tinsel vould hide zinks under Ludvig (if you know vut I mean). I zink ze conflict got too much, unt Ludvig ran avay, leavink only some tufts uf fur in Tinsel's box as a partink shot.

Efen more excitink zan all uf zis, zo. Gnonest unt I vent into ze Razorfen Kraul. Vut a mess zat vus! Zose zinks don't just look like piggies, ze place vusn't clean at all. Still, ve found ze Roogug (ze piggie viz ze Oil uf Phlogiston zat I needed). Unfortunately, he vus surrounded by ozer piggies. Only zrough ze might uf Gnonest unt I, unt a goot deal uf fearsome strategy, did ve defeat zis Roogug (I vill post ze pictures later). So now, I heff my fire hardened hauberk armor! It is strong unt hard, unt I zink it vill protect me greatly. I vill also post a picture uf me in zat soon.

Finally, Gnonest unt I heff travelled to ze far-off Desolace. Vut an awful place! No snow, unt I heffen't efen found any iron yet, let alone Tin. Vell, hopefully ve vill find somezink around zere soon. I em learnink to make ze steel soon, unt I zink I vill finally be able to mine ze Mizril in zat Charred Vale soon. Zen, I vill make ze vunders!

Saturday, April 16, 2005

I vus in ze Vetlands recently, unt saw a bunch uf skeletons. I zink it may heff been ze Horde attackink ze fort. Zis vun skeleton vus stranger, because it vus floatink above ze ground. It must heff been a mage or zumzink, to be so magical! I vill heff to ask Gnonest if zis is possible. Posted by Hello

Ze last time zat Gnonest unt I got togezer, I bought myself a bunny. I call him Ludvig, for my great uncle on my mozer's side, Ludvig. Great-uncle Ludvig vus a riot -- I remember him as ze first Gnome to put a spanner in my hand unt squirt me viz hydraulic fluid. Oh, ve had quite a spray fight zat day. *sigh* It vus too bad he died in zat machine accident. Ze hydraulic brakes on his coffee grinder failed vhen ze central pillar gear came loose. No vun could efer figure out how it could heff happened, he vus alvays so careful vhen he vus makink ze coffee. Posted by Hello

Zis vus vun uf ze chimeras, before I took it down for its horn. Zey are beautiful flyink. Posted by Hello

Zis is ze Charred Vale. A very sad place, viz ze burned out trees. Only harpies, basilisks, crazy trees unt chimeras liff zere. Posted by Hello

Stonetalon Mountains

Vell, I heff been too busy lately to post, but I heff been busy. Still, I heff been active. Most recently, I vent to ze Stonetalon Mountains to find ze galvanized horn for a quest. In ze Charred Vale, I found it, but I also found much sadness.

Zere it vus -- a luffly vein uf Mizril, ze Dwarven favourite. Unfortunately, my teachers heff not shown me how to best mine it. So, zere it stayed. It vus heart breakink to leave zat zere.

Still, I got ze horns I need, unt only need ze oil to get my new hauberk made. I em so lookink forward to it!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

A luffly memorial near Stormvind, commemoratink ze fallen defenders uf ze city. Posted by Hello

Just a lazy Sunday, fishink in Booty Bay. Caught lots of cod, unt baked zem up. Tasty! Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Gold diggers

Gnonest told me zat ze advertisements on ze right hand uf zis blog are advertisink ze gold dealers! Vhy vould anyvun sell gold vhen you can just dig it up? It makes no sense. I vill try to fix zis, as I don't like vut zey are doing. Takink good gold unt sellink it! Unbelievable! Zey could be making Power Cores out uf it. Or efen more valuable items like ze Battle Chicken. Such vaste...

Razorfen unt travellink

I vent into Razorfen Kraul, but it seemed like it vus too much for me alone. I vill heff to vait until Gnonest can come in viz me sometime.

Zo, as I couldn't get my oil, I decided to explore a bit, unt I found a nice goblin city called Ratchet. Ze goblins are nice people, but zeir knowledge of engineerink is a little flawed. Anyvay, zere vus a boat zat left Ratchet for Booty Bay, so I caught it unt ran back up to Duskvood from zere. I vus attacked by many gorillas as I ran up, but I avoided zem. I did kill vun tiger, zo, and now I vant to try out a new recipe. Unfortunately, no vun in zis dreary little town sells apples, unt I need it for my jungle stew recipe. Hopefully, Gnonest has a few apples to spare.

I vill vait for him in ze inn. He said he vould be around sometime.

Zis vus on ze coast uf ze Barrens. You can just see Fray Island off ze coast. I svam all zat vay in my armour.  Posted by Hello

Zese are ze Barrens. I zink zey named zem correctly. Zere vus hardly anyzink zere. No snow, hardly any copper or tin, lots uf sandstone. Ze animals vere pretty funny lookink as vell. I tried to take a picture uf zat striped horse, but it ran avay. Posted by Hello

Zese are ze dark, dank, smelly marshes behind Zeremore. I had to run all ze vay zrough zem to get to ze Barrens. Didn't efen see any copper. Uck. Horrid place. Posted by Hello

Zis vus an older picture zat vus still in my camera. Zis is Gnonest unt I ze last time ve vere in Stormvind. Gnonest is ze smart vun in ze back. I zink he did a spell or zumzink to make his name appear ofer his head. Posted by Hello

Varrior times

Ze ozer day, I decided to go off unt heff an adventure vizout Gnonest. Not zat ve had an argument or anyzink, but he vus buzy. Also, I had a few 'varrior' tinks I had to do. Gnonest neffer understands zose tinks, I zink. He's a mage, unt zey don't know ze joy of feelink your blade chop into somezink, or a mace clingink off somevun's helmet. It's just fun.

Zo, I had to go off to ze Barrens, a vild unt vooly area full uf Orcs unt more. Zere vus a fight club on an island off ze coast vere I vus supposed to meet viz somevun unt talk to about a fight. Ze Barrens are a strange area, vizout any snow, but zey did heff some tin.

Unfortunately, I em horrible at directions. I finally got to ze Barrens, but I vent by vay uf Zeremore Island unt ze awful marsh behind it. I kind uf liked ze marsh in ze Vetlands, viz all ze dinos and stuff, but zese marshes vere nasty! Creepy like ze Duskvood, unt more smelly. Not efen any copper! Zere vere some guards patrollink, unt I felt sorry for zem. Valkink in zat muck, in full plate. Zey're feet must smell like trolls when zey are done for ze day. Still, I got to ze Barrens unt vent off to find ze island. It vus a bit uf a swim off ze shore, especially in my armour. I spoke viz ze guy runnink ze fight club, a Clannoc Macleod. He told me to go stand in ze circle, unt he vould send fighters out to beat me. Zey kept comink, unt I kept knockink zem down. Finally, ze "Big Vill" came out. He vus huge! Some kind uf human-orc cross, I zink. Very ugly. I beat him vizout much difficulty. Clannoc congratulated me, unt told me about a veapon I should get.

I zink I vill try to get ze oil for my new armour first, zen go back to meet up viz Gnonest.