Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

News from Gnonest

Hallo! Zis is Gnonest. I zought it vas a bit unfair zat Gnolly should heff to do all ze vork keeping up zis journal, so I heff decided to post a bit uf news myself.

First uf all, you should know zat I don't like machines very much. Sure zey may be convenient sometimes, but at some point zey vill break down und zen you heff an entire city uf leper gnomes on your hands. Magic is much safer, zough Gnolly vill disagree viz me I'm sure.

But lately I heff been running around a lot. Say you vant to catch ze ferry to Booty Bay und you are in Feralas. You heff to run halfway zrough ze Zousand Needles und halfway zrough ze Barrens yust to catch ze boat! Vhen you valk it takes forever, und on top of zat ze Barrens are very dull und ze Zousand Needles little better. Also I tzink Gnolly may heff been getting a little bored heffing to valk vhen he has a mechanostrider at his beck und call.

So I broke down und decided to by a mechanostrider uf my own. First I had to raise some cash, vhich I did by taking on some contract vork in Alterac und ze Highlands. Unfortunately I met viz some resistance from ze locals, usually viz results like zose you can see below.

Efter much hard vork I vas able to buy a small feazerbeck.

It is certainly much faster zen valking, but so noisy und dirty! Vheeze, clank, vheeze, clank viz much engine noise und big puffs of smelly black smoke vherehever you go. Und uf course zere's no telling vhen zese gnome-built contraptions vill blow up or break down. Honestly I em so nervous vhen I get on zis tzing I can hardly stop shaking. In fact some human guards pulled me over in ze Highlands because, zey said, I vas "piloting erratically."

But I complimented zem on zeir uniforms und efter smelling my breaz zey let me off viz a varning. A good tzing too; efter buying zis piece of scrap I can hardly afford zread!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Runnink in ze voods

A vhile beck, Anor (he's zat Elf I know) told me zat Feralas is a luffly place. Gnonest unt I finally got zere a few days ago, unt ve decided to go hexplorink. It is fery nice. It coult use some snow to cheer ze place up, but it is much nicer zan ze desert. Unt drier zan ze Vetlands unt Svamp uf Sorrow. I em still wringink my socks out from zat place.

Gnonest vuz nice enough to put ze enchantment on my sword. Here I em testink ze enchantment on ze Gnoll. As you can see, it is quite a bright enchantment. I like zat, fery much.

As vell as ze enchantment on my sword, Gnonest has also been busy viz ze tailorink he does instead uf ze engineerink. Zis is his new headbant unt vest. Fery snazzy, but hardly goot in ze battle! Efen my plate stuff hardly keeps me goink all ze time.

Ve vere doink a lot uf yeti killink last night. I know zat it isn't nice to attack zem as zey are fairly intelligent unt all, but zey attacked us first! Still, to be helpful to any hunters or ozer leazervorkers in ze area, ve vere fery careful to pile zem up to make it easier to skin later.

I also saw ze giant fartink last night. Sorry zat I didn't get a photo, as I vuz just too shocked. I vill try again later.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Gnonest vuz studyink, so vuz I

Ze ozer day, Gnonest vuz doink his magical studies in Stormvind, so I decided to pass ze time by studyink ze devices zat ze mages keep in ze chamber. Zis vun vuz most interestink as ze lights mofed around ze rock. Almost like ze clockvork. It reminded me uf ze clock I had made meny years ago viz my aunt Flora. She showed me ze details uf carevully carfink out ze gears for ze clock, uf vindink ze spring, unt gettink eferyzink to mofe just so. Efen zen, I vuz ze great engineer, so I decided to make ze clock efen better -- I hooked it up to my vocal audibulator, zo zat it vould say ze time efery minute. Aunt Flora vuz so delighted viz it! She put it avay in ze box for save keepinks, but you coult still hear zat clock countink all ze day long. Unt all ze night long, as it vuz important to keep time at night as vell. It vuz too bad zat Aunt Flora vent crazy unt burned down her shop. Ze firegnomes zat came to put out ze fire efen told me zey could still hear my clock countink. Zat's Gnomish reliability!

Zis magic zink vuz not like my clock at all. I voult heff taken more pictures, but I fell asleep efter takink zis vun. Ze magic stuff is borink.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I did it!

Oh, I hem so hexcited! I told zat human zat I vuz a goot fishergnome, unt I profed it to him! I showed him by catchink all ze fish he said couldn't be caught! He said, "Vow, Gnolly, you really are ze hextreme fishergnome." Zat vill show him!


Vell, I heff been doink a lot uf fishink lately -- Gnonest vants us to compete in ze upcomink tournament. Vell, I vant us to as vell, so I guess I shouldn't heff said, "Gnonest vants us to compete." Eizer vay, I heff been doink a lot uf fishink lately - is goot to cook zem as vell!

I caught ze 53 pound grouper, efen. Zat vustn't a goot cookink fish, zo. Still, a nice trophy.

Fishink isn't as goot as clonkink ze trolls on ze head, but I kind uf like it -- I em currently tryink to profe my skills to zis guy who says I can't catch four rare fishes. Vell, I vill show him -- I heff already caught two uf zem -- unt I heffn't efen used some uf my aquadynamic attractors yet. Just ze nightcrawlers.

Brink on ze tournament!