Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I decided to show off to ze elf in ze inn. I hooked my feet unt ankles to ze counter, unt layed back. Viz my mighty ankles (unt ze shield helps too), I vuz able to lie like zis for a vhile. Gnonest tried it too, but he couldn't. Zat is because his ankles aren't as mighty as mine. Uf course, his brain is more mighty zan mine. Posted by Hello

Vhile ve vere runnink zrough ze marsh, ve found zis dead elf, unt he vus floatink in ze air. You can't really tell from ze photo, but Gnonest is all ze vay under ze elf. Uf course, it could efen look like he is tossink ze elf in ze air. I don't zink Gnonest could do zat. Maybe viz ze spells, he is goot at zat. Yah, levitating elves, he coult do zat. Me, I vould just bonk him unt lift ze hard vay. Posted by Hello

Zis is Gnonest unt me knockink ze kanoodle out uf an orc. Zis is my new mace I heff been usink lately. Posted by Hello

Runnink arount in Desolace unt Quest gifers

Gnonest unt I decided ve needed to finish a few uf ze quests ve heff been delayink on. So, ve vent lookink for zese two elves zat had gone missink. Ve fount zeir vagon, but did not find zem. It vus most puzzlink. Fortunately, ve found zeir tracks (Tinsel is an excellent tracking mechanical squirrel) unt found vun uf ze elves in a nearby orc place. Ve rescued here, but she vanted us to find her brozer, "In Desolace". Not hexactly ze best directions. Ve vandered around, unt killed a few more uf zose infernal Infernals, as vell as some ozer demons, unt vultures unt vhatnot, but did not find ze elf brozer. Ve did find some ozer elves, but zey had not heard uf him. To me, zey all look alike -- tall unt grey. Finally, ve gave up ze search.

Gnonest had zis mage quest he had been vaitink to do as vell. Ze directions vere to look in a marsh (not ze vetlands, anozer vun), "Vest uf Zeremore, unt Norz uf Dunmaul Ruins." or some such directions. Really, vould it kill people to giff better directions to zese zinks? I mean, I vould not say, "You can build a bomb by putting some hexplosiff stuffs in a can." People vould loose fingers zat vay. It is ze same viz ze quests -- vhy not say, "Before you get to ze place viz all ze dragons, turn left. Don't go to vhere all ze dragons are." Vould zat kill zem? Or maybe efen, "You know, I vuz goink to get you to run all ofer ze place, but I chust popped it into ze mail instead." You know? Some times I feel like I hem chust a delifery gnome.

"Gnolly, go get me 10 uf zese zinks.", "Gnolly, I need you to go tell Foobinooble zat ze toast is ready.", "Gnolly, you are a very brave varrior, I vill make you somezink. Before I do zat, zo I need you to bake me a gristle omelet (ze humans eat ze strangest zinks)"

Don't efen get me started on all ze runnink ve did -- all ze vay from Ironforge to Desolace. Viz nuzzink to see! Vould it hurt zem to put in more uf ze trams?

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Also in Desolace is a bunch uf demon-vorshippers. Here Tinsel unt I (unt Gnonest, as you can tell from ze firevorks flyink) are defeatink an Infernal -- a demon uf ze lumpiest sort. Posted by Hello

Ve spent a bit uf time ze ozer day killink more kolkars. Zey look quite fearsome, but uf course Gnonest unt I vere moreso. Gnonest is behint me, takink ze picture. Posted by Hello

Gnonest unt I found zis luffly fissure unter ze vater. You could actually breaze down zere. Ve vere huntink ze lobster people at ze time, unt it vuz quite low unter ze vater. Heffink zese handy vus quite nice. No drownink required. Posted by Hello

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I vill nefer understand politics

Gnonest unt I heff been vanderink around Desolace lately unt zere are a lot uf kolkars runnink around. Uf course, zat is all zey can do viz four legs unt all, unpleasant fly-ridden half horses.

Some guy asked us to decide betveen two tribes uf ze kolkars, to make vun tribe happy. Unfortunately, makink vun tribe happy meant zat ve had to kill many uf ze ozer tribe. Zey boz look alike to me -- how could ve tell zem apart? Smelly fleabags. Vell, at least ve managed to make ze vun tribe happy.

I heff been zinkink on ze side. Should I stick viz my sword, or practice viz ze ozer veapons? Zat troll promised me a new veapon, but he didn't say vut he vould make. Maybe I vould heff a choice? Bah. I don't understand ze minds uf trolls at all.