Ze stories uf ze fearsome Gnome varrior, Gnolly! Unt Gnonest.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Ze dwarfen airplanes!

Gnonest unt I vere in ze Azshara ze ozer day, spankink ze bloot elfes for some reason or anozer. Ve also had to collect ze "etchinks" uf ze ruins for zis dwarf in Ironforge. He vanted us to collect zem, zen go to an airport for collection. Zis is ze shot at ze airport. I vanted ze guy to giff us a ride in ze plane, but he said zere vuz no room. No room for ze little (but fearsome) gnome?!?! I zink ve vere ze victims uf ze plot to keep me from buildink my own flyink machines.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Adventurers uf Azeroz, unite!

Sometimes I tzink ve contract vorkers need to form a union or sometzing.

Take yesterday. Gnolly had a submarine demolition job zat involved destroying some sort uf altar at great depth. Here's a picture uf it; it is ze blue glowing tzing.

I don't know vhy ze altar had to be destroyed; maybe it vas a navigational hazard. Anyvay, it vas clearly a highly dangerous job requiring specialized knowledge und tools. But did ze client say, "Oh, here, you'll be needing zis deep-breazing apparatus," or "Here are some potions uf vater-breazing, you'll need zem," or efen "Take a varlock viz you if you don't vant to drown." No, it vas yust, "Blow it up und report back vhen you are done." Und so vhat happens? Gnolly demolishes ze altar (yust doing his job) und is about to come up for air vhen he is attacked by a crazed cultist or protester or sometzing. Ve qvickly dispatched ze cultist but alas, Gnolly did not heff time to reach ze surface und drowned vizin a few feet uf safety. I vas closer to ze surface und so vas saved (zere are many advantages to being a mage, und being able to fight at a distance is vone uf zem).

Fortunately I vas able to revive Gnolly, but I tzink ve heff put up viz lax safety standards in ze qvesting industry long enough. I vill be submitting a petition to zose in auzority in Ironforge, Stormvind, und Darnassus und vill not rest as long as zere are adventurers dying unnecessarily.

P.S.: Here is anozer picture uf Gnolly in his new monocle:

My new, new look

I heff been busy collectink ze new armor pieces lately, unt Anor sent me a mace he did not vant (such a nice boy, zat Anor!). Also, I heff been hexperimentink viz ze new lenses. Vhile still in Tanaris, I made zis new monocle zat I zink really is me. Vhut do you zink? Is zis new look me or vhut? I mean, a green lens, unt you can also see my ozer eye, unt my hair. I still need to do more to coordinate my armour, but I zink zis is a start.

Lazink about in Tanaris

It has been a vhile since Gnonest unt I heff gone out into ze desert. Gadgetzan in Tanaris does miss out on some stuff (zere is no spice vendor, for instance), but it is a fun place to lollygag about in. Howefer, ve heff been doink a few runs out in ze desert.

First up is ze pirates. Alvays ze scourge (not ze Sourge) uf decent folks eferyvhere, ze pirates uf Tanaris are no hexception. Ve decided to do a bit uf cleanink up in zere compound, spendink many hours vhackink ze slower pirates on ze head. Look at ze carnage ve left behind!

Last night, zo, ve decided to head out uf ze desert. Zo, ve vent to ze chungle. I vill nefer get ze smell uf Stranglethorn Vale out uf my hair from ze last time ve vere zere, but now ve are back in zat place. Ze vun zink zat ze two places heff in common are ze basilisks. Strange zat zese beasts are hokay in boz ze desert unt horrible chungles. Zis is a shot uf ze business end uf vun uf zose basilisks in ze chungle.
Now ve are off to ze nicer places. Ve heff flown to ze Hinterlands to do a few chobs. It is a much nicer place, efen zo zere are still trolls zere.