Gnolly!

Hurray!

2006-05-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

Vell, efter all ze runnink arount in ze desert unt elsevhere, I zink it has paid off. My instructors at ze varrior academy heff told me zat I heff learned all zat I can from zem. I em ze Master Varrior! I em so hexcited! Oh, yah. Gnonest is ze Master Mage as vell. He says he vants to go to ze Dire Maul now, but I zink he vuz chokink. Ve are restink up in zis abandoned house in ze IronForge until ve zink uf vhut to do next.

A big sand box

2006-05-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

I heff not posted lately, as Gnonest unt I heff been playing in Slizius. It is ze neat place. Not as snowy as ve vould like, but it has it's charms. Zere are lots uf zinks to kill zere: bugs, vurms, and ... vell, more bugs. I can see vhy Anor didnt' like it zo -- not a tree in sight, unt nozink really to skin. Oh, yah, zere are cultists as vell. Nasty people zey are. Ve heff been vhackink zem by ze cartload, but zey keep comink more. I shall try to take more pictures in ze future, but for now I heff only ze two.

Vhile runnink zrough ze sand, ve saw zis skeleton. I zink it is uf ze dragon! It is qvite dead, zo. Probably anozer reason Anor didnt' like zis place. He prefers to kill ze dragons, unt heffink an obfiously dead vun stuck here probably bugged him. You see -- lots uf bugs here!

Near zat skeleton, zis guy vuz valkink arount. Ve decided not to bozer him. I make it a point to not irritate people zat tall. Zey tend to hit really hard.

Ve teamed up viz a couple uf nice paladins last night for ze first time. Zey vere nice, for humans. I forgot to take ze photo, but zey vere vearink matchink armour - zey looked like ze guards in Stormvint, all shiny. I prefer my armour, zo. Alzough I do keep breakink my monocle. I need to find somezink more protectife for my head.

A vew older pictures

2006-04-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

Here are a vew older pictures zat I heff been holdink on to for ze vhile. Zey are from our fun in ze Velvoot unt Vintersprink bevore ve vent ofer to ze Slizius. Ze Velvoot is an icky place, unt eferyzink smells a little. Efen me vhen I vuz zere.

Zis vuz a big dead tree zat ve helped. He vuz lost, or somezink, unt needed somevun to show him how to get past ze muck monsters unt get to ze road.

Here he is efter ve got him to ze road. He turned out to be a nice dead tree. You can see just how big he vuz, as Gnonest (unt some dumb paladin type) is standink next to him. Gnonest is on his mount, Vheezlecrank.
Efter ze Velvoot, ve headed up past ze Fulbolgs to Vintersprink. I zink I really like ze Vintersprink - it reminds me uf my childhoot. All ze snow to play in. Here you can see just some uf ze carnage ve did zere. A bunch uf Furbolgs attacked us, so ve vhacked zem. You can see zat vun efen died in ze sheep form zat Gnonest had turned him into. Deaz can be cruel sometimes.

I snuck zis photo. Zis is Gnonest's new dress, uh, kilt. He is a little selv-conscious about it, but I don't know vhy. Maybe it is because uf his vearink ze cyan kilt viz ze red vest? You can see his bunny zere as vell. I can't remember ze bunny's name, but it is a fearsome beast, unt alvays helps ze Gnonest protect my beck.

Ze jokink helf

2006-04-05T13:57:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention zis joker vhen I vuz talkink about ze desert. He vuz some big muckymuck arount zere, unt he actually zreatened me unt Gnonest viz ze vhack on ze head! I voult heff tied his ears in ze knot if Gnonest hadn't uf stopped me.

Killink ze bugs

2006-04-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Gnonest had ze luffly idea last night: vhy don't ve go check out zis Slizius place? I heff to admit, I vuz gettink a little tired uf ze Plaguelants. I vuz feelink mouldy all ze time, unt I zought zat a little bit uf dryness might help me feel a bit more clean. Plus, it vuz ze chance to vhack bugs. Vhut could be more fun zan zat? (Yah, buildink a new automatic sword sharpener unt cow milker might be more fun, but stick viz me.)

It is devinitely not a luffly place. Sandy unt vindy, unt full uf ze bugs. Here you can see zat ve are heffink ze picnic. You can see ze dust defil in ze background. I tried to catch vun, but I could not.

I mentioned ze bugs, yah? I vuz playink viz my telephoto lens for a bit, unt aimed it at ze tower uf ze bugs. Buzzink arount it vere all zese bugs. I must make myself some repellent bevore ve head into ze hifes zemselfes. Or maybe just sharpen my axe to vhack zem viz. Zat vill shut zem up!

Vhile ve vere comink beck from vhackink a bunch uf ze cultists who are also in ze area (I vill show you photos uf zem later, but zey are pretty dull lookink), ve saw a really big bug attackink a bunch uf dvarfes, so ve decided to help. Look at ze size uf it! Uf course, it did not last long viz boz uf us helpink.

Zere vere also a lot uf large vorms in ze desert. Zey apparently heff been attackink ze supply lines, so Gnonest unt I decided to help viz ze cleanink out uf ze vorms. You know, zey are also qvite tasty! Zis nice lady gafe us ze recipe to make ze dumplinks out uf zem. Most delicious! I vill heff to vhack a vew more in ze future, just because. Gnonest said zat he heard zat zere might efen be more larger vorms arount. He said zat his friend Herbert tolt him, or somezink like zat. I vill look forvart to findink zem as vell.

Vhile ze desert vuzn't as luffly as Vintersprink, it vuz still much nicer zan ze Plaguelants, unt I zink ve vill go beck. Ve heff been collectink ze secret messages uf ze cultists, unt I em curious as to vhut zey are talkink about. Perhaps some new recipes! Or maybe ze gadgets! Ooooo, zat vould be so nice!

I heff figured it out!

2006-03-01T11:23:00.000-08:00

Gnonest unt I vere in ze Vintersprink lately (I zink I heff mentioned zat), but ze place bozered me vhile ve vere zere. I zink I finally figured zomezink out about ze place, zo. Ze sprink is like ze vater sprink -- it's named after ze hot sprinks in ze place. Zere is no metal sprinks involved! Ze whole time ve vere zere, I vuz lookink for ze metal sprinks for my gadgets, unt I nefer saw vun. I had efen zought zat ze Goblins vere hidink zem. Now zat I know zat zere are no metal sprinks in ze place, I feel better.

Alzough, vouldn't zat be cool? Ze whole place full uf snow unt metal sprinks! Sprinks vould help you get zrough deep snow -- you could bounce zrough it!

My whole mistake reminds me uf ze time I vuz helping my uncle Gnorman viz his race car vun day. I mentioned Gnorman in ze past, right? He's Gniddle's fazer. Just don't mention ze bunnies to Gniddle!

Anyvay, I vuz vorkink viz my uncle, unt he vuz tightenink ze brakes on his race car. He asked me for ze 12-sprocket left-handed gear drifer, unt I zought he had asked for ze 10-sprocket right-handed gear drifer. He zought it vuz a tight fit, but he tightened his brakes anyvay. He crashed later zat night into ze crowd. It vuz quite ze hexplosion, I must say! He vuz hokay, zough, but zose brakes didn't seem to vork at all. He must heff loosened zem somehow. Ve laughed about zis vhen he got back from ze temple after ze priests healed him.

Hemptyink out ze camera

2006-02-27T10:27:00.000-08:00

Vell, it has been a long time zince I wrote anyzink here, so I decided zat it vould be a goot time to hempty out my camera, unt post ze photos here so zat you know vhut Gnonest unt I heff been up to.

Ve vere quite busy viz ze Lunar Vestifal lately - collectink ze coins from ze elders, unt shootink off ze firevorks. Ze firevorks vere ze best part, efen better zan runnink into ze Crossroads to get ze coin from ze elder zere. I got ze plans for ze launcher, so zat I vould be able to make ze firevorks vhenefer I like, but it needs ze Goblin rocket fuel to make. Now I need to find ze Goblin villink to sell me some.

Ze elders vere funny people. Hidink out in ze strangest uf places. Like ze vun in ze Un'goro crater, just lookink at ze bugs! You'd zink he vould help a little...

Vunce ze vestifal vuz ofer, ve decided to leafe ze crater, unt head up to ze Vintersprink. Oh, but it is goot to see ze snow again! Ze Vintersprink is a nice place. It has snow (I zink I heff mentioned zat). It does remind us uf ze old days in ze Dun Morogh, zo. Dumb bears attackink all ze time, nozink better to do. Oh, unt it has ze Chimeras. Lots uf ze Chimeras! Zey are efen dumber zan ze bears.

Gnonest unt I heff been collectink ze new armor as vell. Here are Gnonest's new pants. Aren't zey just too vierd to beliefe? Ze mages vear ze strangest zinks.

Unt here is my new armor. Unfortunately, I had my eyes closed vhen I took zis picture. I vill try to take ze better vun soon. Ze skull on ze breastplate is most fearsome, yah?

Huntink in ze crater

2006-01-19T10:12:00.000-08:00

Gnonest unt I heff been spendink a lot uf time in ze Un'goro crater lately - it is a fun place!
Zere are so meny zinks to knock on ze head zere - dinos unt flowers unt dumb monkies unt more.
I feel a little sorry about hittink ze flowers, zo. Zey seem so peaceful, runnink around unt vafink zere tentacles around. Still, I don't zink zat ze flowers are supposed to valk arount. So, zey get vhacked.

Ze dinos in particular can be fery irritatink. Ve vere just mindink our business, ridink souz to find somezink vhen a couple uf zem decided to attack. Zen, zey brought zeir friends. Unt more friends. By ze end uf it, ve vere surrounded by ze dead dinos - too bad Anor vuzn't zere to clean up after us.

Ve heff also been collectink ze raptor meat for ze var evvort. I don't know how I heff been feelink about zat evvort. I know I vill heff to fight in ze var, unt heffink ze meat unt stuff afailable is important, I just zink zey might be doink it in ze wrong vay - heffink all ze stuff in Ironforge means zat ze supply chain is all comink from ze vun place. Still, ze collection goes fine, unt I zink I vill enjoy vhackink ze bugs. Hopefully zey vill heff ze neat stuff to collect.

Ze dwarfen airplanes!

2005-12-28T14:34:00.000-08:00

Gnonest unt I vere in ze Azshara ze ozer day, spankink ze bloot elfes for some reason or anozer. Ve also had to collect ze "etchinks" uf ze ruins for zis dwarf in Ironforge. He vanted us to collect zem, zen go to an airport for collection. Zis is ze shot at ze airport. I vanted ze guy to giff us a ride in ze plane, but he said zere vuz no room. No room for ze little (but fearsome) gnome?!?! I zink ve vere ze victims uf ze plot to keep me from buildink my own flyink machines.

Adventurers uf Azeroz, unite!

2005-12-15T15:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I tzink ve contract vorkers need to form a union or sometzing.

Take yesterday. Gnolly had a submarine demolition job zat involved destroying some sort uf altar at great depth. Here's a picture uf it; it is ze blue glowing tzing.

I don't know vhy ze altar had to be destroyed; maybe it vas a navigational hazard. Anyvay, it vas clearly a highly dangerous job requiring specialized knowledge und tools. But did ze client say, "Oh, here, you'll be needing zis deep-breazing apparatus," or "Here are some potions uf vater-breazing, you'll need zem," or efen "Take a varlock viz you if you don't vant to drown." No, it vas yust, "Blow it up und report back vhen you are done." Und so vhat happens? Gnolly demolishes ze altar (yust doing his job) und is about to come up for air vhen he is attacked by a crazed cultist or protester or sometzing. Ve qvickly dispatched ze cultist but alas, Gnolly did not heff time to reach ze surface und drowned vizin a few feet uf safety. I vas closer to ze surface und so vas saved (zere are many advantages to being a mage, und being able to fight at a distance is vone uf zem).

Fortunately I vas able to revive Gnolly, but I tzink ve heff put up viz lax safety standards in ze qvesting industry long enough. I vill be submitting a petition to zose in auzority in Ironforge, Stormvind, und Darnassus und vill not rest as long as zere are adventurers dying unnecessarily.

P.S.: Here is anozer picture uf Gnolly in his new monocle:

My new, new look

2005-12-15T09:38:00.000-08:00

I heff been busy collectink ze new armor pieces lately, unt Anor sent me a mace he did not vant (such a nice boy, zat Anor!). Also, I heff been hexperimentink viz ze new lenses. Vhile still in Tanaris, I made zis new monocle zat I zink really is me. Vhut do you zink? Is zis new look me or vhut? I mean, a green lens, unt you can also see my ozer eye, unt my hair. I still need to do more to coordinate my armour, but I zink zis is a start.

Lazink about in Tanaris

2005-12-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

It has been a vhile since Gnonest unt I heff gone out into ze desert. Gadgetzan in Tanaris does miss out on some stuff (zere is no spice vendor, for instance), but it is a fun place to lollygag about in. Howefer, ve heff been doink a few runs out in ze desert.

First up is ze pirates. Alvays ze scourge (not ze Sourge) uf decent folks eferyvhere, ze pirates uf Tanaris are no hexception. Ve decided to do a bit uf cleanink up in zere compound, spendink many hours vhackink ze slower pirates on ze head. Look at ze carnage ve left behind!

Last night, zo, ve decided to head out uf ze desert. Zo, ve vent to ze chungle. I vill nefer get ze smell uf Stranglethorn Vale out uf my hair from ze last time ve vere zere, but now ve are back in zat place. Ze vun zink zat ze two places heff in common are ze basilisks. Strange zat zese beasts are hokay in boz ze desert unt horrible chungles. Zis is a shot uf ze business end uf vun uf zose basilisks in ze chungle.
Now ve are off to ze nicer places. Ve heff flown to ze Hinterlands to do a few chobs. It is a much nicer place, efen zo zere are still trolls zere.

Ze dragon story

2005-11-20T13:17:00.000-08:00

It vuz ze vhile beck, but is a funny story anyvay, so I vill tell you.
Gnonest unt I vere in ze Badlands, unt zis guy asked us to go unt kill some uf ze dragons (just ze little vuns, nozink too fearsome) unt bring back ze heart uf vun uf zem. Ve set off, unt started to vhack zem. Unt vhack zem. I got ze heart fairly quickly, but I vorried zat Gnonest hadn't gotten his. So, ve kept on vhackink ze dragons. I zink ve killed more zan Anor does, unt he hunts zem. Efter a few hours uf killink zem, I vas startink to get ze RDKS - Repetitive Dragon Killink Syndrome. My wrists vere startink to hurt from swingink my sword too much. Zen Gnonest unt I talked about ze troubles ve vere heffink, unt he said, "I vunder vhen you vill find ze heart?"
I said, "Me? I got vun hours ago, I zought you vere still lookink for vun?"
He replied, "Oh, I got vun hours ago as vell. Ve maybe heff vhat zat guy vanted?"
It vuz so embarrassink, all zose dead dragons. Hopefully ze dragon conservation folk von't be efter us.

mn nu hmnt

2005-11-20T13:12:00.000-08:00

M god mnslf d nu hmnt. Ds a lddl dhd, zo.

Ah, phew! Zorry, I had to take zat off for ze vhile. I heff gotten ze new helmet. I decided to try it as too meny people vere zinkink I vus ze elf in ze old vun, plus zis vun is a bit more protectife. I vish it showed my eyes or hair more, but vhat can you do? It is also a bit tight, but I em vorkink it in so zat I can talk vizout ze problems vhile I em vearink it. Is goot, as Gnonest has some uf ze difficulty understandink me vhen I vear it now.

A little accident

2005-10-31T22:33:00.000-08:00

Gnonest unt I vere trfelling through ze Uldaman, beatink up ze dark iron dwarfes unt troggs zat are in zere. Mostly it vent hokay, but at vun part ve vere swarmed! Zere must heff been dozens uf zem, all ferociously attackink us at vunce. I tried my best, but zey got me.

Zey hit me so hard, zey drofe me into ze ground! Only my feet did stick out uf ze ground. Boy, did zat hurt. (Gnonest took ze photo, as my camera vuz buried under ze rock uf Uldaman at ze time)

Hallow's End shenanigans, part vun

2005-10-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

As eferyvun knows, it is ze Hallow's End, or close. So, ze costumes heff been showing up lately, unt ze Trick or Treatink has started. Here, I em transformed into ze leper gnome, vhile Gnonest vears ze scary human ghost mask. I missed takink ze photo vhile I vuz lookink like ze terrifyink tiny Diablo, but I vill try again later.

My fine new duds!

2005-10-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

Gnonest has made for me ze smashink new suit! It is fery luffly, I zink. It is ze tuxedo, unt I zink it goes fery vell viz my new rose-colored goggles. I look like ze major media celebrity, I zink! Zis vill be just ze zink for zose late night party sessions unt raves in Stormvind. I might need better shoes, zo, zey sort uf clash viz my plate boots.

Ze tailor who came in from ze cold

2005-10-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I tzink I may bore people viz my incessant talk of clozes. Gnolly neffer says anytzing, but sometimes I can see his attention drift vhen I describe my latest creation. "Gnolly!" I say, "I heff made ze most delightful new outfit. You vill luff it!" "Oh, yes, fery nice," says he, und stifles a yawn. But zere is no stopping me--I em a tailor und so I talk about ze clozes. It comes viz ze territory.

Anyvay, zough I em keeping ze sleepvear for ze fighting (it really is much tougher zen it looks, und helps my spellcasting besides), I heff made ze most delightful new outfit for ze bar scene. Here I em showing it off in Booty Bay:

Say good-bye to ze Mage uf ze Red Pyjamas und say hello to ze International Gnome uf Mystery! Ze mage who luffed me! I em sure it vill be a hit viz ze ladies. Und because he seems to need help in zat department, I heff made a matching set for Gnolly. Maybe he vill post some pictures uf it soon!

Spiffy new shirt!

2005-10-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

Hallo again! Since I last wrote, I heff grown tired uf dressing all in red. It hides ze blood vell, but to be frank it is not a flattering colour, und it makes ze whole outfit look a bit like sleepvear. I don't vant to be known as Gnonest Needlezread, ze Mage uf ze Red Pyjamas. Und so I heff made zis new tuxedo shirt to spiff up my outfit a bit:

I tzink it very dashing, zo I am afraid I look a bit like a vaiter vizout ze jacket. I hope no one asks me for drinks ze next time I visit ze Irregular.

In ozzer news, since I got my feazerbeck Gnolly und I heff been riding everyvhere, even on short trips from Tinkertown to ze Mystic Quarter. I still don't steer very vell--on my last trip zrough ze Vetlands, I nearly ran over some dvarves und came vizin a hair uf sqvashing some young elven hooligans in ze tunnels. I am unmoved in my opinion zat it is a most infernal machine, but Gnolly, who likes machines almost as vell as people, insisted zat I giff it a name. So I heff decided to call it Vheezeclank, after ze horrible noises it makes.

Alone in ze desert

2005-10-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

Gnonest vuz nappink today, so I vent out to find some ghosts zat a goblin vuz lookink for. Gnonest didn't need to get zem anyvay. He doesn't like it vhen I go out alone. Ze last time I vent out alone, I bought ze sword from ze goblin. It vuz a luffly sword, made uf tin. Unfortunately, ze tin is not ze best for makink ze swords. It bent on ze first troll I vhacked viz it. Gnonest says zat I should not buy anyzink now unless he is arount to help me get ze good deals. Still, it vuz just ze desert of Desolace today. How much troubles could I get into?

I fount ze place zat ze goblin vanted me to look in. It vuz called ze "Valley uf Bones" (ooooo, scary stuff, kiddies). I saw vhy efter I looked zere for a little vhile - it vuz full uf bones, boz ze valkink sort, unt ze lyink down sort. I mean, look at ze bones!

I vunder vhut zose zinks vere? Zey are big, like ze giants, but zey heff ze pointy teeth like ze dragon. Unt ze spear like some uf ze naga. I'm sure zey voult heff been quite fearsome when zey veren't all bones like zey are now.

Here I em in vun uf ze mouzs uf ze big bones. Zey aren't so scary now.

I forgot to take ze picture uf ze pile uf dead ghosts zat I collected for ze goblin, but you can imagine ze pile, can't you? It vuz quite high, I assure you. I'm not sure how I killed ze ghosts, as I zought zat ghosts vere already dead. Still, vhen you vhack zinks hard enough, zey fall down, unt zese ghosts fell down vhen I vhacked zem.

Efter I killed ze ghosts, I vent lookink for ze goblin again. Boy, he vuz hard to find! I vent all ofer ze place looking for him. I vuz afraid I might heff to fill up my strider's tank again. I had switched it to ze diesel, for ze economy, you know. I vusn't sure if I vould be able to find any in ze Desolace. Fortunately, I found ze goblin in ze souz end uf ze kodo grafeyard. He vuz fery happy to see me, unt gafe me a nice shield for brinkink him ze dead ghosts.

So, I got back to ze Booty Bay, viz nozink for Gnonest to chastize me for, except maybe for goink out vizout him. Zis time. Next time ve vill go back to ze mine at Uldamon, I zink.

My new armour

2005-10-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

I heff been collectink new armour lately, as befits ze most fearsome gnome zat I em. It is now ze full plate armor, for ze most part. So, it is quite protectife. Viz all uf zis on, I fear nozink. Except maybe ze dragons.

My favourite piece, zo, is ze helmet. I heff gotten vun uf zose elven helmets zat ze sentinals vear. I like it, but many are mistakink me for ze elf now. Efen zo I do not heff ze ears.

Killink ze big guys

2005-10-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

My vord, but it has been a long time since I wrote here. Vell, I heff been a little busy. Gnonest got himself a mechanostrider, so ve heff been galavantink around on zem. He's still a little shaky on ze controls, unt he doesn't really like it, but I zink he is gettink used to it.

Ve fount zis place uf bugs near Feazermoon. Zey vere kind uf nasty, attackink us unt all. Uf course, vhut else vould you expect from ze bugs? I still heff a rash from ze bugs in Stranglezorn Vale. Unt don't efen bring up ze Vetlands!

Here ve vere comink up from ze bottom uf ze bug place. Zere vere really big mosquitoes zere!

Gnonest unt I decided to leafe ze Feazermoon area, at least for ze vhile. Ve vent beck to Arazi to finish off a few zinks zhere. Zere are lots uf big zinks in Arazi! Like zese giants ve killed zere. Bigger zey are, ze harder zey fall at ze hands uf Gnomes, zat's vhut my huncle Vilhelm used to say!

Zose giants vere just ze start. In Arazi, zere is a city zat ze humans used to life in. Vell, zere are still some humans in zere, but most uf zem are zeives unt cutthroats. I can tell, because zey are all vearink ze black.

Last, ve heff ze picture uf ze pile uf ogres ve left behind vhen ve left ze city.

News from Gnonest

2005-09-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hallo! Zis is Gnonest. I zought it vas a bit unfair zat Gnolly should heff to do all ze vork keeping up zis journal, so I heff decided to post a bit uf news myself.

First uf all, you should know zat I don't like machines very much. Sure zey may be convenient sometimes, but at some point zey vill break down und zen you heff an entire city uf leper gnomes on your hands. Magic is much safer, zough Gnolly vill disagree viz me I'm sure.

But lately I heff been running around a lot. Say you vant to catch ze ferry to Booty Bay und you are in Feralas. You heff to run halfway zrough ze Zousand Needles und halfway zrough ze Barrens yust to catch ze boat! Vhen you valk it takes forever, und on top of zat ze Barrens are very dull und ze Zousand Needles little better. Also I tzink Gnolly may heff been getting a little bored heffing to valk vhen he has a mechanostrider at his beck und call.

So I broke down und decided to by a mechanostrider uf my own. First I had to raise some cash, vhich I did by taking on some contract vork in Alterac und ze Highlands. Unfortunately I met viz some resistance from ze locals, usually viz results like zose you can see below.

Efter much hard vork I vas able to buy a small feazerbeck.

It is certainly much faster zen valking, but so noisy und dirty! Vheeze, clank, vheeze, clank viz much engine noise und big puffs of smelly black smoke vherehever you go. Und uf course zere's no telling vhen zese gnome-built contraptions vill blow up or break down. Honestly I em so nervous vhen I get on zis tzing I can hardly stop shaking. In fact some human guards pulled me over in ze Highlands because, zey said, I vas "piloting erratically."

But I complimented zem on zeir uniforms und efter smelling my breaz zey let me off viz a varning. A good tzing too; efter buying zis piece of scrap I can hardly afford zread!

Runnink in ze voods

2005-09-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

A vhile beck, Anor (he's zat Elf I know) told me zat Feralas is a luffly place. Gnonest unt I finally got zere a few days ago, unt ve decided to go hexplorink. It is fery nice. It coult use some snow to cheer ze place up, but it is much nicer zan ze desert. Unt drier zan ze Vetlands unt Svamp uf Sorrow. I em still wringink my socks out from zat place.

Gnonest vuz nice enough to put ze enchantment on my sword. Here I em testink ze enchantment on ze Gnoll. As you can see, it is quite a bright enchantment. I like zat, fery much.

As vell as ze enchantment on my sword, Gnonest has also been busy viz ze tailorink he does instead uf ze engineerink. Zis is his new headbant unt vest. Fery snazzy, but hardly goot in ze battle! Efen my plate stuff hardly keeps me goink all ze time.

Ve vere doink a lot uf yeti killink last night. I know zat it isn't nice to attack zem as zey are fairly intelligent unt all, but zey attacked us first! Still, to be helpful to any hunters or ozer leazervorkers in ze area, ve vere fery careful to pile zem up to make it easier to skin later.

I also saw ze giant fartink last night. Sorry zat I didn't get a photo, as I vuz just too shocked. I vill try again later.

Gnonest vuz studyink, so vuz I

2005-09-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

Ze ozer day, Gnonest vuz doink his magical studies in Stormvind, so I decided to pass ze time by studyink ze devices zat ze mages keep in ze chamber. Zis vun vuz most interestink as ze lights mofed around ze rock. Almost like ze clockvork. It reminded me uf ze clock I had made meny years ago viz my aunt Flora. She showed me ze details uf carevully carfink out ze gears for ze clock, uf vindink ze spring, unt gettink eferyzink to mofe just so. Efen zen, I vuz ze great engineer, so I decided to make ze clock efen better -- I hooked it up to my vocal audibulator, zo zat it vould say ze time efery minute. Aunt Flora vuz so delighted viz it! She put it avay in ze box for save keepinks, but you coult still hear zat clock countink all ze day long. Unt all ze night long, as it vuz important to keep time at night as vell. It vuz too bad zat Aunt Flora vent crazy unt burned down her shop. Ze firegnomes zat came to put out ze fire efen told me zey could still hear my clock countink. Zat's Gnomish reliability!

Zis magic zink vuz not like my clock at all. I voult heff taken more pictures, but I fell asleep efter takink zis vun. Ze magic stuff is borink.

I did it!

2005-09-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

Oh, I hem so hexcited! I told zat human zat I vuz a goot fishergnome, unt I profed it to him! I showed him by catchink all ze fish he said couldn't be caught! He said, "Vow, Gnolly, you really are ze hextreme fishergnome." Zat vill show him!

Fishink

2005-09-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

Vell, I heff been doink a lot uf fishink lately -- Gnonest vants us to compete in ze upcomink tournament. Vell, I vant us to as vell, so I guess I shouldn't heff said, "Gnonest vants us to compete." Eizer vay, I heff been doink a lot uf fishink lately - is goot to cook zem as vell!

I caught ze 53 pound grouper, efen. Zat vustn't a goot cookink fish, zo. Still, a nice trophy.

Fishink isn't as goot as clonkink ze trolls on ze head, but I kind uf like it -- I em currently tryink to profe my skills to zis guy who says I can't catch four rare fishes. Vell, I vill show him -- I heff already caught two uf zem -- unt I heffn't efen used some uf my aquadynamic attractors yet. Just ze nightcrawlers.

Brink on ze tournament!

Cookink viz Gnolly

2005-08-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

Vell, last night Gnonest unt I vere defastatink ze populations uf ze Rocs in Tanaris. Zis goblin had asked us to brink him lots uf eggs, unt clams unt cheese. Ze clams unt cheese ve had, but now it vuz time to get ze eggs. Tanaris is ze crowded desert! Ve couldn't valk 20 paces vizout bumpink into a hungry basilisk or hyena. Rocs, on ze ozer hand, vere hart to come by. Finally, ve found bunches uf zem near some old bones souz uf Gadgetzan. Still, zey vere surroundet by hyenas unt basilisks, but ve fought zem all. Ve vere so busy viz ze fightink, zat I forgot to take ze pictures. Especially vhen ve vere fightink meny at a time. Oh, I tried out Mizchick, unt she is vorkink quite well.

Still, finally ve got all ze eggs, unt now I (and Gnonest) are privy to ze highest lefels uf ze cookink craft! I celebrated by cookink up a storm uf roast raptor, volf meat, unt carrion surprise. I hed so much to eat, I vuz stuffed like ze turkey! Now, I vill get back to practicink my fishink, to prepare for ze tournament.

Old pictures

2005-08-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

I decided to defelop a vew pictures zat I heff been savink. Here zey are.

Zis vuz a tree ve saw in ze Stranglezorn Vale. Notice ze people statues arount it. I vunder vhut ze story is?

Here you can see ze dome uf Dalaran. I heff nefer heard vhy zere is a dome ofer Dalaran, but zere you go. It's fery shiny, unt purpley pink up close. I kind uf vant to see vhut is inside, but I em also a little vorried about vhut all ze mages arount zere might be tryink to keep in.

Ze scarlet monks unt green gnomes.

2005-08-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

Vell, Gnonest unt I hed a great time a few days ago runnink into ze scarlet monastery. I hed heard zat all monks vere nice people, calm unt peaceful. Zese monks veren't anyzink like zat -- zey attacked us as soon as zey saw us, complainink ve vere "contaminated". Vut ve vere contaminated viz, zey didn't say. It vuz such a messy place as vell, books piled up eferyvhere. It vuz for two uf zese books zat ve vent into ze monastery. I hed zought ve voult go in, say, "Hello nice monk folk, can ve borrow zese two books?" Instead, ve hed to bang heads unt take names. Ve fought our vays zrough ze monastery to ze main library. Zere Gnonest found ze book he hed been lookink for unt ve left. I hope to nefer see zose monks again.

Gnonest hed to rest a bit efter ze monks, unt so I set off on my own to Gnomeragan, ze ancestral home uf ze Souzern Gnomes. (Gnonest unt I are uf course Norzern Gnomes as you can tell vrom our proper accent) It vuz a gloomy place, unt many uf ze remainink Gnomes vere a little crazy. Hokay, a lot crazy as zey attacked me as vell! I zink zey vere ze contaminated vuns. "Stop", I said, "I em vun uf you!". Still zey attacked. Zey seemet to be buildink ze flyink machines. I forgot to take ze photo uf zem, zo. I vill try to go beck sometime for zat.

My engineerink vork continues to improfe. I made ze Gnomish Battle Chicken to aid Gnonest unt I in our quests. I heffn't tried it yet, but I em callink it Mizchick, as it is made uf a lot of mizril. I zink it vill help us to be fearsome.

Gnonest promises us zat efter his rest ve can finish zat recipe for ze goblin, unt ve vill become better cooks. Uf course, he made me promise to practice my fishink to prepare for ze upcomink tournament. Alvays somezink to do!

Booty Bay at sunset

2005-08-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

Here is ze Booty Bay at sunset. Zat is me at ze end uf ze post on ze boat. Luffly, no?

Don't ask how I took zis picture. Secret Gnomish secret, you do not heff ze clearances needed to know. Hokay?

So much to talk about

2005-08-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I vent to Arazi last night. Oh, bevore I mention zat, here is ze photo uf Gnonest in Booty Bay. He is showink off by gettink on ze long beam uf ze boat. I don't know ze real name uf it, or I vould call it zat.

It is not zat I voult be afraid to go up zere, it's just zat I don't fall fery vell. Unt vhen I fall, I hurt zinks. I sometimes zink it is all ze armor, but I em not sure.

Zo, ve left ze Booty Bay efter Gnonest fount all uf ze parts uf zat dang book for ze hunters. Maybe next time zey vill be more careful! Efter a short trip zrough Ironforge (zat place is a fery silly place), ve vent to Arazi. Ve had to find zum blood ore for zum silly goblin, unt I needed to collect stuff from ze elementals. Here I em ferociously fightink ze fire elemental, viz Gnonest about to freeze it.

You probably see ze giant in ze backgrount. He vuz followink us arount all ze time. In fact, he efen almost stepped on me! Silly giants, next time I vill slap him arount a little to show him vut is vut!

Ze reason I vuz efter ze elementals is zat a Troll promised me a sword. I know, I know, "Do not trust ze trolls as far as you can kick zem". Zat's vut my Gramma used to say. Still, it vuz for a sword. Sure enough, he vuz goot to his vord, unt he made for me a sword. Here I em posink viz it. It seems to be a nice vun.

Viz ze new mount

2005-07-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Here I em viz Tinsel, unt my new mount. I heffn't named it yet. Zere vuz a silly undead guy runnink in front uf ze camera. Zey can be so rude.

I told Gnonest I voult name it efter him, because he gafe it to me. However, I zink zat coult cause some confusions. If I shout out, "Hey Gnonest, I vill ride you to Booty Bay!" Gnonest (ze Gnome) coult be confused. So, I vill try to zink uf a new name. I em zinkink Verdigris, or meybe Tintin. I luff tin.

Here's a closeup uf ze mount. Notice ze fine craftsmanships on it!

Tinsel unt ze mount heff been gettink along hokay. I sometimes notice Tinsel chewink on ze mounts legs, or tryink to stuff nuts (ze metal kind, Tinsel isn't a normal squirrel) into ze mount's hexhaust ports. No damage so far, zo. I hope zey learn to play nice togezer.

Ze goot news!

2005-07-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

I tolt you I vould heff goot news soon, unt now I can tell you -- I vuz visitink ze varriors guild recently, unt zey said zat because uf all uf ze hard vork I heff been doink, I vould heff more respect arount zere. Zey efen said I could vear ze plate armor now! You can't see it in ze picture below, but I em vearink a new metal belt zat Anor sent me. Unt Gnonest gafe me ze efen nicer gift, but I don't heff any photos uf it yet -- he gave me enough money to buy ze mechanostrider! Now I can run arount viz ze big boys! It is so much fun! Ze smell uf ze oil leakink unt coal burnink also help to cofer ze smell uf me in ze jungle as vell.

Oh, unt Gnonest has been permitted to build ze portals now. Zey are a vay to move to ze cities more quickly zan by gryphon, and zey kind uf tickle vhen you jump zrough zem. Here he is makink vun to go to ze Stormvind city.

Here ve are heffink a celebratory dinner uf pork to congratulate ourselves.

More uf ze jungle

2005-07-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

Here are Gnonest unt I in ze jungle. Zese hunters in ze area seem to vant to remofe all ze vildlife, but are too scared to do it zemselves. Uf course, zey aren't as fearsome as Gnonest unt I. So, zey heff sent us to kill meny uf ze raptors, tigers unt more in ze jungle. Here I em about to rescue Gnonest from ze raptor zat got past me.

I em just too hot zeese days

2005-07-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I heff been in ze jungles near Booty Bay lately. It is hot. Hot, hot, hot. Too hot for armor. I heff been gettink ... vell, ripe. All zat runnink arount, killink ze tigers unt trolls is too much exercise for a little Gnome in full armor. I need to roll arount in ze snow for a vhile.

Ah, snow. It has been zo long since I saw ze snow.

Ve efen made a side trip recently to Tanaris. Great. Leave ze hot, humid jungle, unt go to ze hot, dry desert. Gnolly is not ze happy camper.

Oh, but I vill heff goot news soon!

Efen shorter

2005-07-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I vent off to ze Stranglezorn jungles. You vould not belief how hot it is in my armors in zat place. I zink I may suffer from ze jungle rot soon. I sveat, I stink, unt I sveat some more. Fortunately, Gnonest knows many coolink spells, so I stay near himr, or ze beasts he is castink zem at.

Zere vere zese people zere zat ve vere supposed to kill. Somevun said zey were bad, unt zat vus enough for us. Zey did attack us, zo I guess zey aren't fery nice. Vun uf ze magic-usink vuns used a spell on me to make me smaller. I guess he zought it vould make me less fearsome. He died shortly zereafter. You can see ze results below. I em almost as small as Tinsel! Fortunately, it did not last fery long, unt soon I vus back to my full Gnomish height.

I passed!

2005-07-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

Oh, zis is just ze greatest news! I passed my hexams, unt now I em an official Gnomish Engineer! Ze hexams vere very difficult, unt required zat I make a bunch uf stuff zat vuz very difficult. I efen made ze mistake vunce in preparation for it -- I made ze mizril cylinders instead uf ze mizril tubes. Oh, I vuz vorried about zat vun, but fortunately, I fount more mizril ore, unt I made ze tubes.

Now, I can make ze fine Gnomish items, zat are secret to only ze greatest uf ze engineers. I vill keep tellink you as I build zem, especially ze Battle Chicken, ze special goggles unt vhatnot.

I celebrated by finishink off a few quests I had to do, includink deliferink ze crash helmets to ze racevay in ze Shimmerink Flats. Vhile I vus zere, a Dwarf asked me to look arount for ze parts uf old racecars, so zat zey can put zem togezer again. Vhile I vuz runnink arount pickink zem up (zey are eferyvhere!) I saw a ship! Vhy vould a ship be in ze middle uf ze desert like zis? Zhere vuz no vun on ze ship to ask, zo. Just a lot uf turtles arount ze ship. I vunder if ze ship brought ze turtles? I did not zink I voult vind so many turtles in ze desert eizer.

Gnonest unt I are beck in action, unt ve spent some time killink ze efil coven members in Desolace. Gnonest says he sinks ze nezer vitches are cute. I sink zey are a little too tall -- like ze elves. Still, ve managed to pick up a bunch uf stuff off ov zem, unt ve finished off a mage quest for Gnonest. He didn't say vhut he got for zem, zo. I sink ve vill go to ze monastery next, or maybe to ze jungle for my varrior quest.

Eizer vay, it vill be nice to flex my veapons again. I em beck!

I'f been very busy lately

2005-07-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

I em sorry I heffn't been updatink zis much lately, as I heffn't been doink in much ozer zan preparink for ze exams lately (news on zis soon). Gnonest has been goink out unt shakink down ze Troggs unt vhatnot for linen unt vool. He sent along a few pictures of him in all his spellcastink might.

Here he is castink a spell. Most fearsome, I vould zink. You can almost feel ze spell takink avay your life, or vhutefer zose zinks do.

Zis is a really goot vun -- he is like ze spell slinker, vhippink out a spell to maim, rend or freeze. Yah, zis vun looks like a freeze spell. Still, most fearsome, goot layout unt eferyzink. I em glad I left him my snapshot defice while I vuz busy.

More news unt posts soon, includink news uf my exam. I hope.

Ze Scarlet Monkplace

2005-06-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I vent for a long run ze ozer night to visit ze Scarlet Monastery. Great, I figured, a place full uf monks. Monks are nice people. But not zese monks. Right away, zey attack us! Vhy? Because zey said ve vere contaminated. Boy, zose scarlet guys aren't very friendly at all, goot zing ve didn't help ze vun in Desolace at all. Ve shoult hev kicked him in ze shin!

Ve got a little tired uf ze monks attackink us all ze time, so ve decided to vait on zat for anozer day, unt ran ofer to ze Arazi Highlands. I like ze highlands -- lots uf Tin (and Iron, and efen a bit uf mizril). Gnonest needed to kill a bunch uf trolls to make a staff. He promised me lightening unt everyzink, but vhen ve put ze staff on ze altar, nuzzink. Vell, a bit uf light, but hardly any lightnink. Bah, borink mage quests.

2005-06-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

Zis vus Gnonest unt I vhen ve vere killink ze lost vuns (yes, ve found zem). It is a bad picture uf ze lost vun leader, as he vus runnink avay from us at ze time.

Unt about zose 'lost vuns'

2005-06-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

How could zey be lost? Zey vere fishink all ofer ze swamp! I could heff beliefed zey vere lost if zey hid or zumzink, but zey jumped at us first chances zey got. Unt it's not like no vun had been in ze swamp before, you already heff ze stupid humans bringink zeir vagons in ze swamp.

You'd zink zey vould heff zeen zose lost vuns before.

2005-06-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

Speakink uf Anor. He sent me zis photo uf himself recently. Isn't zat ze most awful lookink combination uf clozink you heff seen? He looks like a dwarf tourist durink summer or zumzink!

2005-06-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

I realized I heff not posted a picture uf me since I got my crown. I don't zink I vill keep it, zo. It is not as nice as my old green goggles, but it does protect my forehead better. I must find zumzink a little more fearsome. Perhaps I vill get Anor to make me a nice turtle shell helmet or zumzink.

Vhy don't you make a list?!?!

2005-06-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Ze people ve try to help zumtimes get on my nerves. I mean, ve try to be nice, ve try to help zem, especially ze down unt out vuns. However, it vould be nice if zey keep in mind zere are lots uf people who needs ze help uf fearsome Gnomes. I mean, ve are very busy, killink ze monsters, gettink ze golt, unt minink ze tin (I luff tin!). If you vant us to help you, it's best if you make us a list uf ze zinks you'd like us to do.

Vhy just ze ozer day, ve vere vanderink in ze swamp, unt zis guy asks, "My vagon is broken down, unt ze animals are scarink me. Vould you please kill some uf zem for me?"

"Hokay", ve say, unt proceed to kill ze "scary" animals.

"Oh, zank you!", he said, "Vhile you're out, vould you mind to find ze lost vuns, unt get zomezink from zem too?"

Vould it heff been so hard to say, "I em an idiot who has brought ze vagon into ze swamp. Please rescue me by killink a bunch uf ze animals, unt if you heppen to see any lost vuns, ask zem for my stuff beck. Zank you."? Instead, ve heff to finish killink (unt killink a bunch uf ze lost vuns as vell in ze process, as zey are eferyvhere in zat swamp. More on zis later) before he tells us about ze stuff. Efen vorse, efter ve got his stuff beck, he says, "Oh, zank you, brave Gnomes. Vould you mind also gettink me zum vood to fixink my vagon? Nice vood please, please import it from zumvhere, I don't like ze domestic."

Bah. Ze lazy human! Should heff fed him to ze spiders in ze voods.

2005-05-19T20:43:00.000-07:00

I decided to show off to ze elf in ze inn. I hooked my feet unt ankles to ze counter, unt layed back. Viz my mighty ankles (unt ze shield helps too), I vuz able to lie like zis for a vhile. Gnonest tried it too, but he couldn't. Zat is because his ankles aren't as mighty as mine. Uf course, his brain is more mighty zan mine.

2005-05-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

Vhile ve vere runnink zrough ze marsh, ve found zis dead elf, unt he vus floatink in ze air. You can't really tell from ze photo, but Gnonest is all ze vay under ze elf. Uf course, it could efen look like he is tossink ze elf in ze air. I don't zink Gnonest could do zat. Maybe viz ze spells, he is goot at zat. Yah, levitating elves, he coult do zat. Me, I vould just bonk him unt lift ze hard vay.

2005-05-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

Zis is Gnonest unt me knockink ze kanoodle out uf an orc. Zis is my new mace I heff been usink lately.

Runnink arount in Desolace unt Quest gifers

2005-05-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I decided ve needed to finish a few uf ze quests ve heff been delayink on. So, ve vent lookink for zese two elves zat had gone missink. Ve fount zeir vagon, but did not find zem. It vus most puzzlink. Fortunately, ve found zeir tracks (Tinsel is an excellent tracking mechanical squirrel) unt found vun uf ze elves in a nearby orc place. Ve rescued here, but she vanted us to find her brozer, "In Desolace". Not hexactly ze best directions. Ve vandered around, unt killed a few more uf zose infernal Infernals, as vell as some ozer demons, unt vultures unt vhatnot, but did not find ze elf brozer. Ve did find some ozer elves, but zey had not heard uf him. To me, zey all look alike -- tall unt grey. Finally, ve gave up ze search.

Gnonest had zis mage quest he had been vaitink to do as vell. Ze directions vere to look in a marsh (not ze vetlands, anozer vun), "Vest uf Zeremore, unt Norz uf Dunmaul Ruins." or some such directions. Really, vould it kill people to giff better directions to zese zinks? I mean, I vould not say, "You can build a bomb by putting some hexplosiff stuffs in a can." People vould loose fingers zat vay. It is ze same viz ze quests -- vhy not say, "Before you get to ze place viz all ze dragons, turn left. Don't go to vhere all ze dragons are." Vould zat kill zem? Or maybe efen, "You know, I vuz goink to get you to run all ofer ze place, but I chust popped it into ze mail instead." You know? Some times I feel like I hem chust a delifery gnome.

"Gnolly, go get me 10 uf zese zinks.", "Gnolly, I need you to go tell Foobinooble zat ze toast is ready.", "Gnolly, you are a very brave varrior, I vill make you somezink. Before I do zat, zo I need you to bake me a gristle omelet (ze humans eat ze strangest zinks)"

Don't efen get me started on all ze runnink ve did -- all ze vay from Ironforge to Desolace. Viz nuzzink to see! Vould it hurt zem to put in more uf ze trams?

2005-05-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

Also in Desolace is a bunch uf demon-vorshippers. Here Tinsel unt I (unt Gnonest, as you can tell from ze firevorks flyink) are defeatink an Infernal -- a demon uf ze lumpiest sort.

2005-05-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

Ve spent a bit uf time ze ozer day killink more kolkars. Zey look quite fearsome, but uf course Gnonest unt I vere moreso. Gnonest is behint me, takink ze picture.

2005-05-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I found zis luffly fissure unter ze vater. You could actually breaze down zere. Ve vere huntink ze lobster people at ze time, unt it vuz quite low unter ze vater. Heffink zese handy vus quite nice. No drownink required.

I vill nefer understand politics

2005-05-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

Gnonest unt I heff been vanderink around Desolace lately unt zere are a lot uf kolkars runnink around. Uf course, zat is all zey can do viz four legs unt all, unpleasant fly-ridden half horses.

Some guy asked us to decide betveen two tribes uf ze kolkars, to make vun tribe happy. Unfortunately, makink vun tribe happy meant zat ve had to kill many uf ze ozer tribe. Zey boz look alike to me -- how could ve tell zem apart? Smelly fleabags. Vell, at least ve managed to make ze vun tribe happy.

I heff been zinkink on ze side. Should I stick viz my sword, or practice viz ze ozer veapons? Zat troll promised me a new veapon, but he didn't say vut he vould make. Maybe I vould heff a choice? Bah. I don't understand ze minds uf trolls at all.

News from Anor

2005-04-24T20:21:00.001-07:00

I got ze strangest message from Anor today. I guess zat is a little redundant, as ze elves are all a little strange. It is also goot to hear from Anor, as I sought he vus dead. Ze last message I got from him vas sayink zat he vuz goink to hunt dragons! Razer zan readink it, I decided to include ze message here:

My dear cousin Gnolly,

I write you on this day with a request for aid, as I know that you know more of these strange devices than I. I was hunting in the wilds of Stranglethorn when I relieved a Troll (of the Skullsplitter tribe) of his worldly fears. Upon the body, I found a strange device. It appeared to be a bow, of perhaps shortbow in stature, but one permanently attached to a handle. I say permanently, but I am not certain. I did attempt to remove bow from handle, but I feared I would break it, and so resigned myself that the two are intended to be together. It does look like arrows could still be mounted upon the bow, perhaps even fired from it. However, I am confounded by the handle -- Gnolly, what is the purpose of it?

I await your sage advice,
Anor

Like I said, elves are a little strange. I can hardly vait until he finds ze blunderbuss!

2005-04-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

Here is me, Gnonest unt Tinsel efter I got my new armor. Ze picture is a little dark, so I vill heff to try to take anozer soon.

2005-04-24T20:19:00.001-07:00

Zis is me beatink on a fire elemental in ze Charred Vale.

2005-04-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

I set up zis targetink dummy in front of ze Stormvind bank to greet people comink in. I zink all ze banks should do zis. It is much more friendly.

2005-04-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

Zis is me killink ze basilisk. I don't know if zis is in ze charred vale, or in Desolas. All basilisks look alike to me. You can see Tinsel behint me, vaitink for a treat.

Latest excitement

2005-04-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Vell, I heff been so excited lately, I heff been forgettink to post here.

Ze excitement started early last veek vhen I got a bunch uf items in ze mail. Vun uf ze items vus a mysterious package from Shadecrank. I must heff mentioned him in ze past. He is a Gnome who is tryink to start a guild to recover Gnomeragan from ze beasts zat heff taken it ofer. Vhile Gnonest unt I are not from zat fair city, ve heff boz attempted to sign ze guild charter. Unfortunately, ve heff boz been unable to, but ve are vorkink on it. Ze package from Shadecrank vus a luffly mechanical squirrel! I vus so excited -- ze vorkmanship vus magnificent, unt besides, it vus quite cute.
Sadly, ze new squirrel (vhich I heff named Tinsel, because I luff Tin) unt Ludvig did not get along viz vun anozer. Ludvig vould nibble on Tinsel's ears, unt Tinsel vould hide zinks under Ludvig (if you know vut I mean). I zink ze conflict got too much, unt Ludvig ran avay, leavink only some tufts uf fur in Tinsel's box as a partink shot.

Efen more excitink zan all uf zis, zo. Gnonest unt I vent into ze Razorfen Kraul. Vut a mess zat vus! Zose zinks don't just look like piggies, ze place vusn't clean at all. Still, ve found ze Roogug (ze piggie viz ze Oil uf Phlogiston zat I needed). Unfortunately, he vus surrounded by ozer piggies. Only zrough ze might uf Gnonest unt I, unt a goot deal uf fearsome strategy, did ve defeat zis Roogug (I vill post ze pictures later). So now, I heff my fire hardened hauberk armor! It is strong unt hard, unt I zink it vill protect me greatly. I vill also post a picture uf me in zat soon.

Finally, Gnonest unt I heff travelled to ze far-off Desolace. Vut an awful place! No snow, unt I heffen't efen found any iron yet, let alone Tin. Vell, hopefully ve vill find somezink around zere soon. I em learnink to make ze steel soon, unt I zink I vill finally be able to mine ze Mizril in zat Charred Vale soon. Zen, I vill make ze vunders!

2005-04-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

I vus in ze Vetlands recently, unt saw a bunch uf skeletons. I zink it may heff been ze Horde attackink ze fort. Zis vun skeleton vus stranger, because it vus floatink above ze ground. It must heff been a mage or zumzink, to be so magical! I vill heff to ask Gnonest if zis is possible.

2005-04-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

Ze last time zat Gnonest unt I got togezer, I bought myself a bunny. I call him Ludvig, for my great uncle on my mozer's side, Ludvig. Great-uncle Ludvig vus a riot -- I remember him as ze first Gnome to put a spanner in my hand unt squirt me viz hydraulic fluid. Oh, ve had quite a spray fight zat day. *sigh* It vus too bad he died in zat machine accident. Ze hydraulic brakes on his coffee grinder failed vhen ze central pillar gear came loose. No vun could efer figure out how it could heff happened, he vus alvays so careful vhen he vus makink ze coffee.

2005-04-16T20:05:00.001-07:00

Zis vus vun uf ze chimeras, before I took it down for its horn. Zey are beautiful flyink.

2005-04-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Zis is ze Charred Vale. A very sad place, viz ze burned out trees. Only harpies, basilisks, crazy trees unt chimeras liff zere.

Stonetalon Mountains

2005-04-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

Vell, I heff been too busy lately to post, but I heff been busy. Still, I heff been active. Most recently, I vent to ze Stonetalon Mountains to find ze galvanized horn for a quest. In ze Charred Vale, I found it, but I also found much sadness.

Zere it vus -- a luffly vein uf Mizril, ze Dwarven favourite. Unfortunately, my teachers heff not shown me how to best mine it. So, zere it stayed. It vus heart breakink to leave zat zere.

Still, I got ze horns I need, unt only need ze oil to get my new hauberk made. I em so lookink forward to it!

2005-04-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

A luffly memorial near Stormvind, commemoratink ze fallen defenders uf ze city.

2005-04-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

Just a lazy Sunday, fishink in Booty Bay. Caught lots of cod, unt baked zem up. Tasty!

Gold diggers

2005-04-02T19:41:00.000-08:00

Gnonest told me zat ze advertisements on ze right hand uf zis blog are advertisink ze gold dealers! Vhy vould anyvun sell gold vhen you can just dig it up? It makes no sense. I vill try to fix zis, as I don't like vut zey are doing. Takink good gold unt sellink it! Unbelievable! Zey could be making Power Cores out uf it. Or efen more valuable items like ze Battle Chicken. Such vaste...

Razorfen unt travellink

2005-04-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

I vent into Razorfen Kraul, but it seemed like it vus too much for me alone. I vill heff to vait until Gnonest can come in viz me sometime.

Zo, as I couldn't get my oil, I decided to explore a bit, unt I found a nice goblin city called Ratchet. Ze goblins are nice people, but zeir knowledge of engineerink is a little flawed. Anyvay, zere vus a boat zat left Ratchet for Booty Bay, so I caught it unt ran back up to Duskvood from zere. I vus attacked by many gorillas as I ran up, but I avoided zem. I did kill vun tiger, zo, and now I vant to try out a new recipe. Unfortunately, no vun in zis dreary little town sells apples, unt I need it for my jungle stew recipe. Hopefully, Gnonest has a few apples to spare.

I vill vait for him in ze inn. He said he vould be around sometime.

2005-04-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

Zis vus on ze coast uf ze Barrens. You can just see Fray Island off ze coast. I svam all zat vay in my armour.

2005-04-02T17:48:00.000-08:00

Zese are ze Barrens. I zink zey named zem correctly. Zere vus hardly anyzink zere. No snow, hardly any copper or tin, lots uf sandstone. Ze animals vere pretty funny lookink as vell. I tried to take a picture uf zat striped horse, but it ran avay.

2005-04-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

Zese are ze dark, dank, smelly marshes behind Zeremore. I had to run all ze vay zrough zem to get to ze Barrens. Didn't efen see any copper. Uck. Horrid place.

2005-04-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

Zis vus an older picture zat vus still in my camera. Zis is Gnonest unt I ze last time ve vere in Stormvind. Gnonest is ze smart vun in ze back. I zink he did a spell or zumzink to make his name appear ofer his head.

Varrior times

2005-04-02T17:20:00.000-08:00

Ze ozer day, I decided to go off unt heff an adventure vizout Gnonest. Not zat ve had an argument or anyzink, but he vus buzy. Also, I had a few 'varrior' tinks I had to do. Gnonest neffer understands zose tinks, I zink. He's a mage, unt zey don't know ze joy of feelink your blade chop into somezink, or a mace clingink off somevun's helmet. It's just fun.

Zo, I had to go off to ze Barrens, a vild unt vooly area full uf Orcs unt more. Zere vus a fight club on an island off ze coast vere I vus supposed to meet viz somevun unt talk to about a fight. Ze Barrens are a strange area, vizout any snow, but zey did heff some tin.

Unfortunately, I em horrible at directions. I finally got to ze Barrens, but I vent by vay uf Zeremore Island unt ze awful marsh behind it. I kind uf liked ze marsh in ze Vetlands, viz all ze dinos and stuff, but zese marshes vere nasty! Creepy like ze Duskvood, unt more smelly. Not efen any copper! Zere vere some guards patrollink, unt I felt sorry for zem. Valkink in zat muck, in full plate. Zey're feet must smell like trolls when zey are done for ze day. Still, I got to ze Barrens unt vent off to find ze island. It vus a bit uf a swim off ze shore, especially in my armour. I spoke viz ze guy runnink ze fight club, a Clannoc Macleod. He told me to go stand in ze circle, unt he vould send fighters out to beat me. Zey kept comink, unt I kept knockink zem down. Finally, ze "Big Vill" came out. He vus huge! Some kind uf human-orc cross, I zink. Very ugly. I beat him vizout much difficulty. Clannoc congratulated me, unt told me about a veapon I should get.

I zink I vill try to get ze oil for my new armour first, zen go back to meet up viz Gnonest.

2005-03-27T18:37:00.000-08:00

In ze center uf Duskvoot is zis strange Night Elf portal. I tried to go zrough it, but nuzzink happened. Zere vus also vun uf zose Night Elf jacuzzis around zere as vell, but nuzzink else. No animals, no Night Elves. I vunder vut ze story is?

2005-03-27T18:35:00.000-08:00

I mentioned zat Duskvood is creepy. I forgot to mention zat it is also full uf ze verevolves! It's an epidemic! I vunder vut heppened to make so many. Fortunately, efen zree at a time, zey fall to my fearsome might. Vell, most uf ze time. Zis time zey did.

2005-03-27T18:33:00.000-08:00

Gnonest sent me a new headband today. He says ve should vear it now instead uf ze hood. I kind uf like ze hood, but zis is tough as vell, unt it shows my hair more.

I vent to Duskvood today

2005-03-27T18:23:00.001-08:00

Gnonest slept in today, zo I vent runnink around vizout him. First I zought uf goink to Booty Bay, but zat vus a long run, and it vus most scary -- I efen saw a Gorilla! (I killed it)

However, I did get some very nice recipes in a camp in Stranglezorn Vale. I luff gettink new recipes! Alvays new tastes, efen ze strange stuff humans eat (vut's up viz pumpkins, anyvay?). Instead, I vent into ze Duskvood. Vut a creepy place! Dark unt foggy, unt ze trees vere efferyvhere. Vun nice zink vus I found lots of Iron unt Tin! Very goot for minink -- you vouldn't zink ze forest vould be zat goot, but zere you go.

Zis poor human vanted me to make him a telescope. He had plans from a Gnome, but couldn't figure zem out (uf course). Zo, I vent unt got ze stuff for him, unt helped him assemble it. I efen saw a GOLD mine, but I heffn't figured out how to separate ze gold ore, zo I left it. Zat vus a hard zink to do.

Sometimes, ze trainers giff you strange zinks to do. I vent to talk viz ze Varrior trainer in Stormvind, unt he vanted me to go to some island off ze coast of ze Barrens to meet viz people unt fight zem. Not zat I heff a problem viz zat, but really, I vunder vut I am to learn uf zis. I still heff to go to ze Razorfen Kraul as vell to get ze oil of phlogiston for my armor. Soon, I zink.

2005-03-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

Zis is my new sword. Actually, it's an ancient sword, but it is new for me, zo I call it my new sword.

I zink I heff an addiction

2005-03-27T18:18:00.000-08:00

It has begun to bozer me zat I can't seem to hold onto a goot sword for very long. I zink I em addicted to gettink new swords, especially ze two handed vuns. Maybe I just like to svink zem unt fly zrough ze air, but I heff now gotten a zird vun in a very short vhile. Zis vun I got from ze commander at Menezil harbor. It seems zis Orc vus goink to attack ze harbor viz ze catapults. Gnonest unt I vent out to take him unt his catapults out.

He (Nek'krosh or sumtink like zat) vus tough, but Gnonest unt I vere tougher. However, I forgot to get ze photo durink ze battle, but trust me, he fell. Unt hard. Ze commander gave me zis ancient sword to zank us for zavink ze fort. Zo, I am usink it razer zan my hammer. I still love my hammer, but I like ze sword effen more.

2005-03-22T03:24:00.000-08:00

I also vent to Stormvind, unt zis is ze temple in ze city. Very nice -- ze Humans like ze big buildinks, but zis vun had zome class. I liked ze tiles on ze floor ze most.

2005-03-22T03:23:00.000-08:00

Zis is ven I vus playink vis my telephoto lens. Zese Gnolls vere actually far avay, but it zeemed like zey vere about to die. Oh, vell, zey did, but only efter I ran quite a vays.

2005-03-22T03:22:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention zat ven Gnonest unt I vere killink ze dinos, I found zis mace inzide vun uf zem. Efter I cleaned it off a bit it vus really shiny! I zink it is ze diamond or zumzink.

2005-03-22T03:21:00.000-08:00

Zis is ze Greenvarden. People say he is ze boss of ze Vetlands, but it just seemed like he vus bossink Gnonest unt me around. Go get zis, go kill some Gnolls, go get zat. Such a bossy Greenvarden. Vut's a Greenvarden, anyvay?

2005-03-22T03:19:00.000-08:00

Zese vere zree dinos who vere about to die at my hand. Or razer at ze end uf my zweihander. Takink on zree dinos is just anozer casual day for ze fearsome Gnomes like me. (unt Gnonest)

Zis unt zat

2005-03-22T03:05:00.000-08:00

Hokay, so I steal Gnonest's line already.

Zo, I decided to go out alone, just to kill a few dinos to get zeir eggs. Gnonest vas feelink a little under ze veazer. Zinks vere goink goot, I vus effen takink zem on zree at a time! I vill post ze pictures. Oh, yah, zat reminds me -- I made a new camera! Zis vun effen has ze telephoto lens! I can now take ze long range photos. I heff vun of zose as vell.

Vere vus I? Oh, yah. I vus killink ze dinos, unt efter a vhile, Gnonest showed up. He vus feelink better. Zo, it vus ze two uf us again, really killink ze dinos. Zey vere fallink left unt right!

Such fun.

More huntink in ze Vetlands

2005-03-21T16:54:00.000-08:00

Vell, Gnonest unt I vent back to ze Vetlands last night. I just couldn't face any more Orcs in Redridge. Unfortunately, I dropped my camera on ze griffon ride ofer, so I don't heff any photographs of ze fun ve had.

Unt fun ve had! It vus so exciting -- I zought ve vould just be huntink dinos unt crocolisks, but instead ve vent efter Pirates! Undead, ghostly Pirates! Oh, you should heff been zere! Ghostly marines unt sailors efferyvhere. Unt undead captains as vell. Effen neater, zey changed us into undead lookink! I don't know how many times I almost attacked Gnonest zinkink he vus an undead sailor comink after me. It took a vhile, because zey vere most fearsome, unt ve vere chased back many times. Fortunately, ve finally managed to get zis ball zat vus causink zem to be ghosts unt all -- an Evil ball -- ze Cursed Eye of Paleth. Now, ve need to clean ze eye. I suggested a system uf brushes unt vater jets zat I heff constructed, but ze guy said ve had to take it to Stormvind instead. Vell, I can still use my device to clean my armor unt stuff.

I need to get a new camera, zo.

2005-03-17T23:02:00.000-08:00

After ve got tired of ze stockade, ve left Stormvind unt vent back to ze Redridge mountains. Zere vere Orcs zere! I heff never seen ze Orcs before. Fortunately, zey fell to our combined might.

2005-03-17T23:01:00.000-08:00

Gnonest unt I spent a bit of time in ze Stockade tonight. It vusn't much fun, ze prisoners vere efferyvhere! Zose poor little gnome skeletons showed us life vus cruel.

"Vhut's viz ze accent?"

2005-03-15T20:52:00.000-08:00

Some people heff written to me, askink vhy zis blog is written like zis. I don't know vut zey mean, but I guess zey vunder how I can write zis blog vizout a keyboard or Internets connection. Zey don't know Gnomes!

I heff built myself a Trans-vocal Transmogritranscriber. Zis device takes my normal speakink voice, unt sends it zrough ze ezer to zis blog. Simple, no? I vill include a photo sometime.

2005-03-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

Zis is me killink ze Sartooz dino. He vusn't zat hard to kill viz boz of us at him. Gnonest effen had time to take zis photo. I don't know vut ze numbers vere floatink zere. Or zat funny red circle shadow zink. I zink it vut Gnonest's fault. You know he doesn't like ze technology, unt I zink he couldn't figure out ze flanges unt bogusotic adjustors on ze camera. I vill heff to teach him.

2005-03-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

Zis is a better picture of me viz ze hood zat Gnonest made for me. Ve vere zem ven ve are runnink in towns, but ven it comes time for zum serious choppink, I put on my goggles (see zem in an earlier picture).

2005-03-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

Vut is it viz Dwarves unt tunnels? Zis vun vent zrough ze mountains, but zere really vusn't a need. I zink zey just vanted vun for ze sake uf buildink vun.

More times in Vetlands

2005-03-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

My vord, but zese blog zinks are difficult. No vun tolt me zat zey vere so much vork! You must remember to log on every vunce unt a vhile unt enter somezink.

Vell, enough complainink. Last veek Gnonest unt I decided to spend some more time in ze Vetlands. It is a pleasant enough place, but viz no real minerals to speak uf. Ve spent most uf our time killink ze dinos of many different colours, includink ze fearsome Sartooz. I got pictures to proof it, as vell.

Efter ve killed all ze dinos ve could stand, ve vere asked to make a special trip to talk viz ze Dwarves. Zis, ve couldn't ignore -- ze chance to go back to ze beauty of Dun Morogh, unt ze snow vere too much. Effen better, on ze vay, I started to collect ze scorched spider fangs I need to make ze fire-hardened hauberk. Ze trip vus uneventful ozervize, except, vut is it viz Dwarves unt tunnels? My vord, but zey put ze tunnels efferyvhere! For no goot reason, effen!

Gnonest unt I are meetink again tomorrow, I zink, so I vill heff more zen.

2005-03-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

I got zis picture of Anor. He's a friend of Gnonest unt I. He's a Night Elf (notice ze long ears).

Night Elves unt bunnies

2005-03-04T15:49:00.001-08:00

Vhile ve vere in ze Night Elf city, Gnonest unt I noticed zat zere vere a lot of young little elves runnink around. It seems zat if ze Night Elves live forever zat zey shouldn't need a lot of children, no? Ve sought it vus strange, but I developed a zeory.
My zeory is zat Night Elves are related to bunnies. Bunnies breed very fast, unt zere are alvays a lot uf young around. Unt bunnies heff long ears, just like ze Night Elves. I mean, look at ze picture of Anor I post next. He's got ears like two bunnies!
Gnonest says zat he heard zat ze Night Elves vere related to Trolls. Zat makes sense too, as Trolls heff long ears as vell. Unt zey heff long teez too, just like ze bunnies!

It all makes sense!

Gnolly!

2005-03-04T15:49:00.000-08:00

Zis is Gnonest unt I in Menethil Harbor. Ve're vearink our new hoods zat Gnonest made (he's not a real Gnome: he likes to play viz fabrics unt stuff). Still, I like ze hood, unt it makes ze too uf us look tough, no? Like ve are a gang or zumzink. I'm effen giffink ze high sign. Sorry it is so dark. It vus gettink late.

2005-03-04T15:45:00.000-08:00

Zis vus ze ghost ve saw. A human ghost, I zink, but I can't tell really. Zey look alike, you know? He tried to zreaten us, or ze prospector, zen disappeared.

2005-03-04T15:43:00.000-08:00

Killink ze dinos vus fun for a vhile, but zey vere all over ze place. Unt zey smelled a little funny. Not gorgonzola funny, but kind of cold soup funny.

2005-03-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

I vus surrounded by zese zree Murlocs. I don't know vere Gnonest vus, but I killed zem all anyvay.

2005-03-04T15:39:00.000-08:00

Ve saw zis zink in ze Night Elf city. You can't tell how big it is from here, but it vus big! Gnonest told me not to get too close because it's eyesight vus probably too bad to see us.